Complexity Of Us (STATION Series #2)

Kabanata 14

Kabanata 14

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Mariin kong ipinikit ang mata nang maalala ang nangyari sa Araceli. I was oblivious after experiencing that curiosity. I don't even know why I allowed myself—and allow him—to feel those things. Ni hindi ko nga siya buong kilala. Hindi rin ako sigurado kung siya nga ba si Elliot Genesis. Bakit ako pumayag na magpahawak ng gano'n?

However, it already happened. Wala na akong ibang magagawa kun'di alisin 'yon sa isipan at umaktong hindi nangyari.

I let out a sigh and looked around. Hindi ko maiwasang maisip ang field ng Trinity habang tinitingnan ang sa Kingston. Silang anim ang nasa isip ko ngunit mas napupunta sa lalakeng naka-dog tag. Though the guy acted like a prince yesterday, I know that finding a prince charming in the 21st century is very impossible.

I treasured my childhood in any way that I can because I remembered that it is a fairy tale-like kind of life. My experience even increased because of how prince-like Genesis acted. Napupuno rin ang pag-iisip ko noon tungkol sa mga fairy tale, mga prinsipe't prinsesa, pati na rin ng korona at kung ano- ano pa.

I have no regrets, though. I like every single bit of it. I did hope for the fairy tale life to extend.

Ngunit nang maintindihan ko kung paano umiiral ang kaguluhan sa mundo ay pawala nang pawala ang paniniwala ko ro'n.

But with the dog tag guy's return... hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti.

Admitting that I like him—or is interested with him—is much better than denying it. If I admit that I am attracted to him, then it will be easier for me to fall out of it immediately. Mas mabuti dahil magiging conscious sa dapat at hindi dapat gawin. Ang problema nga lang, hahanap-hanapin ko ang presensiya niya. Hindi naman pwede na pumunta lagi ako sa Trinity.

Napangiwi ako sa naiisip. Am I really this attracted to him? It's just a one-night interaction yet I feel like there's more to this...

Sighing, I glanced at my new friend. Nakakunot ang kan'yang noo dahil seryoso sa ginagawa. Bahagya siyang naiistorbo ng panghapong hangin dahil sa haba ng kan'yang buhok.

I twitched my lips when I felt a familiar pang of ache after I remembered the distance between me and my friend. Matagal ko nang hindi nakauusap si Rafaela at hindi ko na alam kung ano ang balita tungkol sa kan'ya.

I let out a sigh. "Therese, what are you doing?"

Her narrow and pointed nose made contact with her palm. The smudge from the plan transferred to the side of her nose.

"Inii-stress ko sarili para sa future plates," she said, her eyes trained on the grid notebook.

Sinandal ko ang likod sa gilid ng lamesa at ipinatong ang parehong braso. Bahagyang nabanat ang damit ko dahil do'n. Nang may nahulog na dahon sa ulo ay inalog ko ang ulo.

"Ang gulo ng gamit mo," I commented when I looked at her scattered materials.

"I need to be good at this before I even need it," sabi niya.

Napatulala ako sa narinig, alaalang dumaan sa aking utak.

I was like that before—pushing myself as I'm striving to be better each day. Na dapat sa loob ng ganitong oras, maging mahusay ako roon. Na dapat sa ganitong edad, ito na dapat ang napag-aaralan ko.

My need to be better at each day made me realize my intent to be better: so I could boast.

Naaalala ko kung gaano ko pinahirapan ang sarili para sa pansariling kagustuhan. Naaalala ko rin kung gaano kalaki ang kaibahan namin ni Genesis. He acted way too maturely than his age—way too mature than me. It didn't make me feel envious, instead, it made me feel sad.