i'll be your wings (Destiel Fanfic)

Aftercare.

Yes. That picture is from t&s. I just finished re reading it and I cried so much.
_______________________________________

Cas
~~~~

It been a week. The funeral was yesterday. None of my family showed. It was just me, Dean, Sam and Bobby.

Why wouldn't they show up?

Didn't they care for him?

I've been in kind of a daze, not eating a whole lot, or sleeping, or even really leaving Dean's room.

Dean has tried to convince me that he would want me to live and be happy. He suggested Lazer tag.

I cried.

Dean tried music. Carry on Wayard Son came on.

I cried.

I've been crying alot this past week. I wish it would stop.

"Cas?" Dean voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I lifted my head a little and looked up at him from my spot on the bed.

"How you feeling?" Dean asked softly, coming over to sit on the edge of the bed. He gently ran his fingers through my hair, making me smile a little.

I shrugged a little and let my eyes slip shut. Dean was amazing. I definitely didn't deserve him.. but that doesn't mean I can't take advantage of having him here as long as he thinks I'm special.

I feel the bed dip and he leans down and plants a kiss on my head "if you need anything just call me or Sam okay?"

I nod.

I feel him get up and open my eyes in time to see him leave, shutting the door behind him.

I sighed and curl up, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I always feel better after Dean checks on me. Like maybe I'll be okay.

My smiled fades when I feel a sting in my wrist and look down at the sleeve of my jacket. I bite my lip and roll my sleeve up, revealing the name I cut into my forearm.

Gabriel

I haven't spoken his name since it happened. And I don't plan to.

I pick at the scabs, wanting it to scar so I never forget what happened.
Dean freaked when he saw this and now he checks my arms and thighs everyday to make sure I don't do it again.

He doesn't understand.

I can't just stop cold turkey.

It doesn't work like that.

He hasn't thought to check my waist.

Maybe he should. I need someone to help me stop or I might not stop at all. I'll be covered in scars.

I sigh and roll my sleeve back down just as Dean comes back with a plate of food.

I lift my head to look at Dean, frowning a little once I see the food. I had already told him I wasn't hungry.

"I know you said you weren't hungry but you gotta eat something Cas. You haven't eaten hardly anything all week.."

I sigh and slowly sat up. "But I'm not-" "hungry. I know. But just try? Please?"

I chew my lip and nod, reaching for the plate. Dean hands it too me and I put it in my lap, staring down at the food. I feel him wrap an arm around me and press a kiss to my temple.

I'm starting to believe him.

I want to tell him I feel the same.

But I can't find the right words..

I take a small bite of the sandwich he brought me and grimace. It tastes so.. bland and disgusting..
I put it back down on the plate and shake my head. Dean takes the plate and puts it on the nightstand "it's okay. You tried." Dean said softly "you tried and that's all that matters."

Cas lean against him and curl my arms around his middle "thank you.."

"What for?" I feel the words against his chest and close my eyes

"For everything.."
_______________________________________

Sorry it took me so long to update. I just haven't been motavated to write and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I need to get more Destiel in this tho. So here you go.