i'll be your wings (Destiel Fanfic)

Denial

Dean dropped his hand from cas' shoulder, deciding he should probably tell the truth..

"Cas..."

Anxiety gripped at Castiels chest, knots forming in his stomach. He didn't want Dean to give up on him.. he didn't want to loose the only hope he had in a long time. He wanted- needed- Dean to help him. To motavate him to fix himself..

"Cas I like you. Like, a lot- and I know we haven't known each other very long but I really care about you." Dean said in a rush, getting it all out in one breath.

Cas stood there. Frozen. No. No no no. Dean could possibly be telling the truth.. he couldn't possibly care for cas that way. Nope. He has seen cas' scars, his bruises. How in the world could he possibly have any good feelings towards cas.

"No.. no you're lying.." cas breathed, shaking his head "you can't possibly.. no.. you can't.. how?"

Dean frowned as cas started backing away from him. "How? Well, for starters, you're attractive and funny and nice and your eyes are like, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Anyone would be crazy not to like you."

Cas continued to shake his head "stop.." he squeezed his eyes shut "just.. just stop.. I don't know what you're trying to do but please.. please stop.."

Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Cas please. I'm not trying to do anything except help you. Please let me help you, at least give you a ride home?"

Cas shook his head, fighting off tears and he quickly turned and ran off down the street.

Dean can't actually feel that way towards him. No way in heaven or hell that it was possible for someone like Dean Winchester to have feelings for someone like him. It wasn't true. Dean couldn't- didnt- have feelings for him. He didn't care for cas. He pities him and pity makes you do things that might make that person feel better but it's never out of the good of their heart.

That's right. No one like Dean could ever care for you in such a way. No one ever has and no one will. You'd be better off dead Castiel. But you're too scared to actually finish the job. Why don't you just cut a little deeper, take a few more pills. That'll do it, then no one will have to be burdened by your presence again. Everyone you've ever bothered by talking to or hanging around will surely celebrate.

Yeah.. maybe he should. He just had to cut a little deeper.. take a few more pills..