Holding On (A Harry Styles Love Story)

Making Memories

First kisses are amazing. Some would say they're even life-changing. The thing I love about kisses is that they're never what you expect them to be. When you kiss someone, for a breif moment you can't believe it actually happened. You find yourself asking, 'Was that a kiss?' And when you realize that it was, you get a bit lightheaded. You can feel your heartbeat become louder and louder, and you hope it won't beat violently out of your chest. When you calm down, you feel peace. Peace and happiness. Satisfaction. And that's exactly what happened.

The kiss was brief, maybe 3 seconds or so. I pulled out of the kiss, experiencing all of the symptoms, and saw that Harry had a small smile on his lips, which slowly turned in to a quiet laugh. He was laughing. Why was he laughing?

"What?" I asked self-consciously. Of course I was going to be insecure about it. It was our first kiss and he was laughing.

"Nothing." He smiled, looking down at the smoothie in his hands.

"Was that...bad?" I realized how stupid of a question that was the second it escaped my lips. I felt a blush creep on to my cheecks, and I suddenly felt the urge to find a large rock to hide under for the rest of my life.

"No, not at all." He smiled softly. "It's just...we just kissed at a smoothie shop. In public."

Oh. That probably wasn't smart.

"Oooh." I said slowly, a bit relieved that he wasn't laughing at me. But then horror set in. People saw that. There were people everywhere, and of course they were watching us! I looked past Harry to see that there was a small crowd gathered outside of the smoothie shop. Loads of girls were on the phone, giggling. Even more girls had their phone out, pointed towards us, either taking pictures or video taping.

How didn't I notice them?! How did I let that happen in public?! I was so on my guard the entire day, and then BOOM. Harry knocked down every wall I had built. I was completely unaware of people watching us for about 5 minutes, and in those 5 minutes, I allowed myself to become the most hated girl in America. Probably the most hated girl in the world by tomorrow. I mean, no doubt it would be all over Twitter. It was probably already on Twitter a second after it happened!

"This will be all over the news..." Harry said quietly, seemingly angry at himself for letting it happen, too. "We need to get out of here." He said slowly, quietly. He stood up and put his arm out for me to grab it.

At this point, I was numb. My body was tingling and my chest was heavy, making it harder for me to breathe. But despite that, I quickly stood up without thinking and grabbed on to his arm, my hand resting in the bend of his elbow. I let him lead me out of the shop, trying once again to cover my face. We walked quickly out of the mall and into the parking lot, and thankfully, we weren't being followed.

He opened the door for me and I got in, and he went around and got in, himself. He stared the car without delay, and he drove out of the parking lot calmly. Calmly, but quietely.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking." He finally said, and I could feel him looking at me. But my eyes were glued to the floorboard. I sat numbly in my seat. My chest was still heavy, and a now rock had formed in the pit of my stomach, weighing me down. I didn't say anything. For the longest time, I just listened to Harry talk. I didn't know if he was talking to me or himself.

"I shouldn't have let that happen. I mean, I don't mind being seen with you. It's not me that I'm worried about. But I know what girls go through when they're seen with me. How did I let that happen?!" He looked at the road, his voice getting a little louder with every word. It was sweet that he felt bad, but I also felt terrible. Terrible for making him feel this way. I should have been thinking, too. I shouldn't have let it happen either. I wasn't mad at him, not in the slightest. But I was horrified. And terrified. I couldn't bring myself to say anything.