Holding On (A Harry Styles Love Story)

Silence

I woke up with a crick in my neck and a pounding headache. There was painful pressure behind my eyes. I wasn't on my bed, but on a couch, sprawled across someone's lap. My eyes were fixed down on the jeans that I lay on; I was too afraid to look at anything else. I knew where I was. I never expected to be there. My eyes were sore, and my throat was burning. Finally, I looked up to see Louis' face looking back at me.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you," I croaked, sitting up. My throat felt like sand paper, "How long was I asleep?"

"It's alright, and about four hours. It's eight o'clock now." He smiled a weak, meager smile. A smile that I knew he didn't mean. I knew he wanted to break into tears the same way I did earlier.

I crossed my legs, noticing that the room was empty other than Louis, Harry, and me. "Where'd everyone go?" I inquired.

"Zayn went to get food, Niall is down at the vending machines, Liam went to call Paul, and the doctors will be back to check up on Harry in about twenty minutes."

I nodded in response. I debated whether or not I should ask my questions. Not only did it hurt me, but it also hurt the boy whose best friend was lying on a hospital bed.

"What?" Louis asked, studying my face.

I shook my head quickly and rubbed my lips together, "Nothing."

"I can tell you have a question. Might as well ask it." He said kindly, in the tone of a big brother.

I didn't want to bring it up. It didn't feel right to talk about. "No, it's nothing."

"Charlotte, not talking about it isn't going to make it disappear. The love of your life and my best friend is still going to be in a coma on that bed, whether we talk about it or not."

"The love of my life?" I chuckled quietly before realizing it was absolutely true.

"I know what I said," he said warmly.

I simply stared at him before I could bring myself to ask. He was right; Harry would still be lying there whether we acknowledged it or not. But talking about it...made it impossible to deny it. It felt like putting it out into the world somehow made it more real.

"Who gave him the motorcycle?" I finally asked, although the subject felt wrong to speak of.

Louis rubbed his lips together, "Paul," he finally said. "Paul bought a motorcycle when we were in South Carolina. Today when we were at the studio, Harry wanted to ride it. Paul let him," He paused, dropping his act of pure strength. He looked utterly heart broken, and tears came to the surface in his blue eyes, "He's really torn up about it. We all are, but Paul hates himself right now."

I wanted to ask how Harry wrecked the vehicle, but I decided not to. I think talking about the wreck would break the both of us.

I leaned into Louis' chest and hugged it; he wrapped an arm around me while we silently sat together, both on the verge of breaking down. The only sound ripping through the silence was the constant beeping of Harry's heart monitor. It gave me chills. The fact that there was a machine hooked up to him making sure he doesn't die without the doctors knowing was haunting.

I wasn't tired, but I closed my eyes for a few moments when I heard the door open. Louis and I both looked up to see Niall walking towards the couch, a Pepsi in one hand and a packet of crackers in the other.

"Hey Charlotte," He said quietly, putting on a small smile. I wondered why we kept smiling at each other. It was obvious that, even if we were glad to finally see each other, the situation didn't call for smiles.

"Hey Niall," I stood up, and he wrapped me up in a hug.

"I missed ya." He said over my shoulder, and we both let go.

"I missed you, too."

We both sat down on the couch next to Louis. I sat in the middle of the two. Niall had his right arm around my shoulder, and Louis had his left arm around my shoulder. I was beyond thankful for the support of the two boys. We sat together in a loud silence for about ten minutes. None of us said anything; none of us needed to.

The next time the door opened, it was Liam, giving us news on Paul. Paul blamed himself for the accident, since he was the one who gave Harry permission, and he was the one who the motorcycle belonged to. However, I could tell by the looks on the boys' faces that they all blamed themselves. I didn't know why.

 Maybe they thought they should've been keeping a closer eye on him; maybe something happened that they could've warned him about but didn't think to. Maybe they were mad at him before the accident.

 I didn't know what happened, but I knew what guilt looked like.

Finally, Zayn came in with a huge paper bag of McDonalds, followed quickly by the doctors. Zayn distributed everyone a hamburger and container of fried while the doctors checked in on Harry and answered some questions.

"Is there anything you can tell us?" Louis asked one of the male doctors, Dr. Morris, who had blonde hair and a father-like disposition.

"I'm afraid not. I mean, nothing you don't already know."

"I'm sorry, but what do you guys already know? I wasn't here..." I asked, looking around at the solemn faces. By the pained look on their faces when I asked, I knew that what they knew wasn't good.

"Sorry we didn't explain," Louis rubbed my shoulder.

Dr. Morris sent me a look of compassion. He took a breath and tried a smile, "As you know, Harry was in a motorcycle accident. Niall was the only boy outside with Harry while this was happening, and apparently Harry lost control of the motorcycle and drove straight into a near by van. Is that right?"

Niall nodded; his face crumbled into a state of weeping. I hugged him while he cried on my shoulder.

The doctor looked at the five of us lovingly before going on, "When the motorcycle hit the truck, Harry fell off and his head slammed against the pavement. He suffered a traumatic head injury... and," His eyes were soft, his voice apologetic, "he is classified as comatose and unresponsive.

I shut my eyes, trying not to become overwhelmed, "Well...what are you going to do for him?"

"On the positive side: It's a good sign that he can breathe on his own. On the negative side: We don't know how long he's going to be in a coma, and there's no way to wake him up from the coma. I know this is the most obnoxious answer: But we'll just have to wait and see. I'm so, so sorry. If we find that we can do anything, and I mean anything, we'll do it. Trust me."

He said a few more encouraging words, and we thanked him for his information, but I was left in a daze. I couldn't get used to the fact that Harry was in a coma, let alone the fact that he may never come out of it.

After he left, we were left with nothing but each other, burgers, and a silence that was eating me from the inside out. What was there to do? What was there to say? We all knew everything they could tell us, and we had no desire to discuss it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I hope you all enjoyed this story- but keep in mind that it isn't over yet! Thank you for your intrest in this story! I love you all xxx