Cam ☠
Today was our last day in Miami. Our next stop is Nashville.
Yesterday when we went to the movies Sam and Rosa wouldn't stop flirting. Actually they flirt weird. Instead of that sexy kind of flirt like you'd expect they were more awkward but it still counted.
It was more of, "The color of your shoes makes me think of the beach, I like the beach" or "Sam the song goodies, is your song." That kind of flirt. It was annoying, yet funny. Throughout the whole movie and walk through the outlets I had to contain myself from snapping which was so complicated.
It mad me mad that they wouldn't shut up I kinda wanted to be the one complementing her; to be honest I kinda knew she was pretty due to her eyes. The first time I saw her I remember scolding myself for having a liking for them. Now I'm here scolding myself at how fast she could change because of my asshole attitude.
From my surplus of what I've gathered from overhearing she was pretty cool and I felt stupid for not taking time and just judging. Man how much can you learn in a day? I think I need help I'm talking to myself.
We didn't have a show today, but we were going to some laser tag place. Everyone has already left. I'm here looking at myself in the mirror.
"You're such an idiot." I spoke to myself not in a 'i hate myself way' but in a 'i screw up what the helldo i do now way.'
"You blew it. You should of given her a chance instead of using that stupid attitude as always."
"Now that guy Sam is just there to rub in his success also known as her and he doesn't even know it."
Yes I still refer to her as her not because she's any different as I used to think, but because I feel if I had given her a chance I would feel worthy of myself to call her by her name or a catchy nickname that she'd let me use.
I clutched the end of the sink harder and stared at myself.
"Stupid!" I muttered.
"Great just great no chance whatsoever."
"Even if you had a chance she'd be thinking you liked her because of how she looks!"
Like I give a shit anymore about how she looks. I just want to actually talk to the real her.
"Talk to her."
"I can't. I'm just a bet to her." I sighed.
I need a doctor I feel this is unhealthy speaking to myself as I stared into the mirror.
I recall listening to West Coast by the Neighbourhood once last year and thinking it was a dumb song when actually one of the lines I think of now, is currently me. I don't know how I remember but I do. The line went,
"Pretty isn't everything you punk ass."
The song isn't so dumb now. Actually everything I think--or so thought--was dumb isn't. Like skipping around the country to host meet ups. It doesn't really matter because fans want to meet us and if it makes them happy I could say I'm happy.
Wow I changed in a day. Yikes I should be scared. See what one girl does to you! Those sexest sayings that boys are better than girls have me contridicting now.
Just as I thought all the boys left I heard three loud bangs on the hotel room door. They're probably here so I can hurry up and go.
I was wrong when I opened the door it was just her by herself.
"My brother texted me to tell you to hurry up the guys are waiting. I was about to leave so I came to tell you." Her voice was monotone spilling no emotion so I couldn't tell what kind of mood she was in.
