Lance clutched the mug tightly, the steam of the tea blowing into his face. Lance sipped his tea as he thought. Lance had been in space for over four years. A year into their space expedition, Hunk and Pidge told the team they were dating. Lance was so happy for them, he was their best friend after all! But Lance was sad because he was in love with the both of them. But Lance refused to ruin their perfectly good relationship so he did what he did best; bury all of his feelings deep deep down.
But then, a year into their relationship, Hunk and Pidge had asked Lance to join their relationship. Lance was ecstatic. He just couldn't believe that they loved him! They were now going on their two year anniversary and Lance was starting to get insecure. Like always.
Lance had woken up from a horrible nightmare.
Hunk and Pidge broke up with him, claimed they didn't want a useless paladin like Lance to be their boyfriend. Lance was heartbroken but he let it go, knowing that as long as they were happy he would suffer through it.
Lance woke up in a cold sweat, Hunk's arm wrapped tightly around Lance's waist and Pidge curled up on his side. Lance had finally convinced the gremlin to go to bed at a decent hour, but had he not, Pidge would surely of been awake.
Lance slipped out of their grasp, careful not wake either of his slumbering partners. Pidge grunted in her sleep and latched onto Hunk's stomach, replacing Lance with Hunk as a pillow. Lance smiled at Pidge's need to cuddle while she slept, while also ignoring the pit in his stomach. He was replaceable.
Lance padded softly to the kitchen, his bare feet slapping against the freezing castle tiles. Lance had fixed himself a mug of space tea (it was purple and green but tasted like chamomile) and sat in one of the more comfortable chairs to brood.
Lance almost chuckled at thought. Jeez, he sure was becoming like Keith!
Lance took another sip of his tea, praying to all the Gods above that it would calm him from his would-be panic attack. His fingers trembled against the glass mug. Warmth of the tea was so hot it burned Lance's finger through the mug.
Hunk would go ballistic if he saw Lance's burns. Hunk was the most amazing boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He was like a ball of sunshine. He was so bright and happy, his smile always lighting up a room. He was such a cuddle bear too. He always wanted to hug and kiss Lance and Pidge. He was also levelheaded, brave and strong.
Not to mention incredibly smart.
Hunk was brilliant and a wonderful chef.
Lance could never compare to that. Hunk deserved someone like Pidge. So it was a great thing that he was dating her.
Pidge, although an anti-social hermit, was a brilliant, beautiful, compassionate and hilarious girlfriend. She was terrifyingly protective of things of value to her (her laptop, Rover, her trash personas, and of course Hunk and Lance) She also knew when was the right time for a joke and when the right time for seriousness was. She could always lighten the mood, something Lance could never manage to pull off.
They were everything Lance was not.
Lance just couldn't understand why they wanted to associate themselves with, let alone date, someone like him. Lance was the complete opposite of them. Where they were humble, Lance was vain. Where they were smart, Lance was dumb. Where they were mature, Lance was idiotic. The list went on and on.
They didn't deserve to be stuck with someone like Lance. A useless burden weighing them down. Pidge and Hunk didn't need Lance to be happy. They didn't have to deal with his crippling insecurities that demanded their attention and distracted them from their important work.
Lance was interrupted from his self-deprecating thoughts by a shuffling outside of the kitchen door. Lance looked up as Hunk walked in, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
"Hey Lancey," Hunk said sleepily. Lance smiled. "Woke up and you were gone. Figured you went here."
"Yeah...I had a bad dream."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hunk asked as he sluggishly fixed himself a cup of tea.
"Not really..." Lance said, avoiding his boyfriend's eyes.
"That's fine," Hunk said, sitting down next to Lance, and pulling out a book. Lance smiled knowingly as Hunk began to read. He was waiting for Lance to say something.
"Hunk?"
"Mhh?"
"........are you...happy?" Lance asked softly. Lance, though he tried not to, let some of his pain slip into his voice when he asked the question. Hunk looked up from his book immediately, shaken.
"What do you mean?" Hunk asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Are you not happy?"
"No! I mean yes! I mean....I am happy Hunk. I was just wondering if you were....satisfied?" The with me was heavily implied and Hunk's gaze softened.
"Lance..."
"I mean, we both know that I don't really bring anything to our relationship," Lance continued, ignoring the way Hunk stiffened. "I mean, come on! There's you, the sweet loving one and Pidge, sarcastic genius and me?....I'm none of those things. How can you be happy with me if even I'm not?"
Hunk stared at Lance for a very long time. The silence was slowly suffocating Lance as he waited for a response, anything, from his indifferent boyfriend. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Hunk spoke.
"Lance...how long have you felt like this?"
"......."
"Lance," Hunk said again, a little bit louder this time. "How long?"
"How long what?" Pidge asked, the gremlin walking in, rubbing her eyes and yawning, Lance's shirt riding all the way past her knees. "What's going on?"
"Lance thinks he brings nothing to our relationship," Hunk said sadly, Pidge looking up at Lance in surprise.
"What? When were you going to say something?" Pidge demanded. Lance shrugged.
"Never?"
"Well that's brilliant," Pidge scoffed.
"Isn't it?" Lance agreed. "See it's like this....I bury all my feelings deep deep down and then one day....I die."
"Babe, that's so unhealthy," Pidge said, crawling into Lance's lap. Lance almost snorted. Usually Pidge would never do something like this, but whenever she was half asleep, she cuddled with everything and everyone. "You're gonna become like Keith!"
"Yeah...that'd be pretty horrible wouldn't it?" Lance laughed. Hunk sighed and kissed Lance's forehead.
"Lance...you're not useless and you're definitely bringing something to our relationship," Hunk said. Hunk lifted Lance's chin, forcing the Cuban to meet his eyes. "Do you want to know what it is?"
Lance nodded.
Hunk smiled and kissed Lance.
"Love."
