book #1 | be with me | jenzie

40

chapter 40 - kiss me silly

"i've dreamt of how i would talk to you.

i would be calm and collected.

but i realized, that my heart wouldn't allow it,"

[edited - 24.12.18]

k e n z i e

Brandon. Sucks.

I can't even put it into words.

Asking him to the gala was the best thing in the world I could have done. Note my sarcasm.

All he does is talk about how good he is the entire night. I used to think he was this sweet guy, but now I wonder what his mother has been teaching him about humility. His ego was so terrible I couldn't even. It reminded me of Johnny. My heart thumped. I didn't even know what I was doing when I decided to ask Brandon to the gala ball.

The worst thing was - I couldn't even help but keep comparing him to a certain someone.

A certain someone with eyes too green for his own good. A certain someone who could still sweep me off my feet even though I wanted nothing in my life to do with him.

Sighing, I crept away from the buffet table discreetly - well, as discreet as you can get wearing an all too fluffy gown and ten inch heels.

That had been my hiding spot since two hours ago, and thankfully Brandon didn't seem to think I would gorge myself on roasted turkey, so he didn't notice me.

And he kept oggling that blonde girl at the side, so I doubt he would have any time planned out for me.

Yeah, I was just peachy. The night was going really, really great.

All my friends had disappeared with their dates, leaving me here to get fat on my own with those goddamned delicacies. I swear to god I was going to gain a few pounds after tomorrow.

My friends were mean people. Definitely.

So far, the entire night, the only thing I enjoyed was the food. The venue was an awesome hotel and I had been eyeing the large swimming pool for a long time already. However, I was clad in this all-too-heavy dress, so swimming now was definitely a big no-no.

Looking over for something better to do, my breath caught in my throat as I saw him.

I was going to, perhaps, giggle like a lovesick child, when I saw who he was holding in his arms.

A cheerleader wearing a napkin. They were so close, and there was barely an inch between their faces. No. I think I'm gonna puke.

That's how fast he had moved on. Afraid that if I sat here any second longer I would be tempted to shove the whole turkey down that girl's throat, I gathered up my dress grumpily.

Perfect. Everything was wonderful. Just wonderful.

Scowling in displeasure, I stalked towards the balcony, squeezing through the curtains.

Laying my head down on the cool bronze railings, I smiled ruefully up at the twinkling stars in the night sky. Sometimes, you know, I just wonder what it would feel like if I were one of those stars. Would it be nice to have some company while enjoying freedom in the endless horizon? I felt lonely, so lonely now. It's as if there's no one here for me at all.

I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to feel like I was being treasured by him.

No, why was I still thinking about him?

My brain is such a traitor.

I muttered a few curses underneath my breath as I knocked my knuckles against my temples. Suddenly, the curtain fluttered open, brushing my hand in the process.

And here I was thinking that this sacred place was a secret and no one knew about it. Great. I was probably gonna get disrupted again by some smooching couple.

Turning around and pursing my lips, I was prepared to give the couple a piece of my mind, when all I saw was green.

Just deep sea green, the kind that makes you want to dive into it and unravel more.

And also the kind that makes me go all drunk in it but also makes me want to pound it to death so that I don't get haunted by it every night.

"Johnny," I breathed out, aware of how breathless and quiet my voice sounded.

That's when I was suddenly swept into a pair of arms. One minute, I was looking up at him in shock, and the next minute I was pressed up close against him as if I was all that he needed.

I was just preparing to maybe murder him here (where no one's looking) but the next thing I registered, we were kissing.

I wanted to let go, to push him far far away, but my traitorous heart and hands weren't responding at all.

My fingers were tangled up in the soft hair at the nape of his neck and I didn't want to admit it, but his hands curled around my waist made me feel warm. Very warm.

Our lips were battling against each other, sending sparks flying everywhere in this small, enclosed place. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to get over him. I let out a silent cry in my heart. Damn it.

Mine was furious and pressing hard against his, trying to gain control. I'll be the one who shows him what good kisses he had missed out on.

I think my not-very-fairytale-life must be the only one case where the girl kisses the boy so fiercely. Kill me now.

Johnny's mouth was working softly, but penetrating deeply into my heart all the same, melting me into one dripping puddle.

And he didn't even seemed to be using any effort.

Was this how he kissed all the other girls?

A bitter taste was slowly forming in my mouth.

I was cocooned tightly in his arms, staring into his green orbs and breathing in his lemony scent, and I wanted to just stay there, safely, forever. But with great effort, I pulled away, both of us panting.

"I-you-we-" I stuttered angrily. I didn't even know why I was mad for him giving me the best kisses, and only kisses in my life, since I could already predict me as an old lady - still single.

I guess I was just embarrassed for craving in so easily, losing to his charms simply with one kiss.

I didn't want this.

I want him to like me, at least.

Feeling pissed out of my mind at both him and myself, I grabbed the lapels of his jacket, pulling him, before shaking him furiously. If he utters one more word, I swear I'll slap him.

"You can't just kiss me anytime you want!"

(1132)

[do not be a ghost reader! vote, comment and share!]