grasping onto something i cannot see

fifteen

i woke up my favorite way, with phil's breath caressing my hair and his arms wrapped around me.

"mmm," i went, signaling my consciousness.

"good morning," replied a husky voice. "are you sore?"

"no--" i went to say, until i moved slightly. "OW. YES."

"aww, i'm sorry sweetie," he responded. "i'll make you breakfast in -- er, couch -- to make up for it, okay?"

"you don't have to--" i began to say, but phil had already stood up.

i heard a knock on the door. magnolia barked three times. "it's me," my gram's sweet voice said from behind the door.

i jumped up, wincing when i remembered that my asshole was on fire (sorry).

"it's my grandma," i whispered to phil, who was somewhere in the kitchen. "she's really nice. just act natural."

i opened the door. "hi gram," i said, hugging her. "i have someone i'd like for you to meet."

my gram wasted no time before walking up to where phil was. "hi, dear," she said. "oh my, you're tall."

phil chuckled. "i've heard. hi, i'm phil. i'm dan's boyfriend."

i cringed at the word boyfriend -- i hadn't exactly told anyone in my family that i wasn't straight.

"boy--boyfriend?" my gram replied. "oh, well, that's a surprise!"

"i'm sorry i never told you," i responded sheepishly.

"no, no, don't be, sweetie," she said. "i'm sorry i assumed you were straight. plus, he's not exactly the worst looking, if you know what i mean," she said, coming back over to give me another hug.

"he's also gay, you know," i said.

"yes!" she laughed. "i'm allowed to call him ho--attractive, aren't i?"

i loudly cleared my throat, signaling a change in subject. "so, gram, would you like to stay for breakfast?"

"i can make more pancakes," phil chimed in. i love that man.

"sure!" gram responded.

phil only took a little while longer to make the pancakes while gram and i set the table. as i bit into the fluffy deliciousness, i wondered what kind of wizard chef phil was to have made these.

"these don't taste like pancakes at all," i said to phil.
my gram 'mmm'ed in agreement.

"that's because they're american pancakes, silly,"
phil responded. "british ones are so flaky and gross compared to these. you'll find out when you get to flori--" he abruptly stopped speaking.

"oh yeah," i said to gram. "speaking of that, phil kinda asked me to spend christmas with his family in florida this year. but you're invited too. and maggie!"

my gram seemed like she was processing this for a while before she spoke. "why not?"

i hugged her. "we're going to have a great time together, i promise."

"i'm telling you, for all the trouble i'm going through to be nice to your boyfriend's family, you better marry him," my gram said, nudging me in a teasing way.

"don't worry, he will," phil said back. my cheeks turned bright red.