grasping onto something i cannot see

ten

when i woke up the next morning, phil was still there.

it must've been around noon, because i felt direct sunlight hitting my face from one of the many windows in my house. the tv was still on, and i heard the voice of a meteorologist: "another cold one in london today, with the estimated snowfall about 6 inches!"

i gasped, excited. i hated the snow, but i loved playing in the snow.

"phil. phil. philllllllllll." i said, nudging awake the cute boy sleeping with his head on top of mine.

"mm. dan?" phil said groggily. his morning voice was husky, and very deep. i wished he was the blind one for a second so he didn't see me blush.

"it's going to snow a ton today," i said. "like six inches." if you thought of a dirty joke just now, get out.

"oh, cool. wanna build a snow fort?" phil asked.

"yes!!!!!" i replied. "how much is out there now?"

phil shifted positions, looking out the window. "it's just a dusting. we have a couple of hours."

i got up, grinning at phil whining when i did. "i'll be back, i'm checking on maggie."

she was right where we left her, laying in her bed. i pet her, and she didn't seem to be in as much pain as she was in yesterday. a good sign. phil offered to feed her her medicine this morning.

"i'll cook you breakfast in return," i offered.

"breakfast at noon?" phil asked.

"would you rather starve?" i shot back. phil laughed — i was glad he understood my sense of humor . "breakfast it is."

i grabbed a pan out of my cabinets and reached into the fridge to find eggs and bacon. maggie took her medicine quite readily, so i heard phil walk over to the kitchen to watch me cook.

now, i'm not saying i'm like, an egomaniac or anything, but i do tend to be quite full of myself and i do love impressing others to the point where they worship me as their god. anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i may have been putting on a sort of a show for phil to watch while i made us breakfast— i'm quite certain he had never seen a blind person do so much before.

"how do you like your eggs?" i asked phil.

"whichever way you like yours," he replied suavely. i heard him approach me. "can i just say, that— "

"— that you're really impressed by how i'm cooking you breakfast right now, all by my blind self?"

"no, i just wanted to point out that you haven't turned the stove on."

i paused for a moment. then, hanging my head in shame, i turned on the stove and proceeded to cook breakfast...for real.

"you know, you're not funny," i said to phil, trying to stifle a few laughs myself.

"oh, i know," phil replied dramatically. "as hard as i try, i just...can't seem to make anyone laugh as much as you do."

"that's why i'm better than you," i said jokingly.

"mm," phil agreed.

i decided to scramble the eggs, due to it being relatively easy and without a doubt the best way to eat eggs (fight me). then, i carefully made the bacon, only burning myself 16,000 times.

not gonna lie, after i was done i had broken out in a sweat.

i got out two plates and put some bacon and eggs on each. i even poured too glasses of milk, without spilling. today was truly a day full of miracles.

"here," i said to phil, holding out a plate and a glass. he took it, and leaned forward towards me. "thanks, sweet," he said, kissing me on the cheek.

and that's when i spilled my fucking milk.

so i cleaned up the mess and got a new glass and phil pretended that he wasn't the cause of that entire incident. we sat together on the couch with our legs touching and ate while we watched tv.

after we were done, phil offered to bring the plates to the sink while i went to check on magnolia again. she whimpered slightly when i touched her, but was well enough to lick my hand. "hi baby," i said to her. "i know you're having tummy troubles but you'll make it, okay? you'll stick it out, my strong girl." i scratched her head. "oh, and you can take a break from that whole protecting me thing. i met someone who makes me feel safe. you've met him too. isn't he lovely? sometimes i feel like i've been missing him my whole life."

honestly, fuck phil lester. because he just so happened to walk in during that cheesy little speech, and he just so happened to hear every word i said about him.

"you really feel like that?" phil said, startling the hell out of me.

"you really like to intrude on my private conversations?" i said back. but i stood, and faced him, knowing full well i had been exposed. "yes, that's exactly how i feel about you."

phil gave me a kiss on the forehead. "i feel the same," he said. he went back into the living room, and i followed, my face showcasing a marvelous shade of pink.

"dan, look! well, okay, you can't. but the ground is covered in snow," phil said excitedly. "is it?" i asked. but phil was already to the door.

"come on!" he said. i grabbed my coat off of the hook and followed him outside.