grasping onto something i cannot see

three

i returned home, exhausted from the very brief time i had spent outdoors. gram graciously offered to put my groceries away, so i plopped onto my couch, phone in hand, counting down the moments until phil (hopefully) called.

i didn't know what it was about him that enticed me so much. he was a stranger in the middle of a grocery store, but the way i seemed drawn to him was something i could not quite explain.

"alright, daniel, that was the last of it. i should head out now," my gram's voice echoed from the kitchen.

i got up and hugged her. "thanks for everything today," i said. she hugged me back.

after gram left, i sat back down on the couch. magnolia jumped up and settled down beside me.

i realized after a couple of minutes that i was incredibly bored. i had some time to kill before phil called (if he even did) and i didn't feel like spending it on the couch "watching" tv. so i decided to do the one thing that brought happiness and fulfillment to my life: playing the piano.

ever since i was little, i have loved the piano. even before i was blind. there's something so simple yet so intricate about the black and white bars that produce the prettiest sounds i can imagine. it's an escape, really, a reminder that although i have a disability i can still make something beautiful with my own two hands.

i sat on the wooden bench, and gracefully danced my fingers over the keys, relishing in the sweet song they sang to me. if it weren't for the piano, i don't think i would even have the motivation to get out of bed some days.

after playing for a bit, i stood and stretched. it seemed to be around lunchtime, but i wasn't hungry. luckily, buzzing from my phone interrupted my thoughts. i picked up the phone quickly. "hello?"

"hey, dan," phil's deep voice replied. my heart did one of those flip things, but i didn't know why.

"what are you up to?" i asked him casually.

"i'm on my break," he said cheerfully.

"oh, when do you get off work?"

"four. why?"

"just...wondering." nice one, dan. now he definitely thinks you're a stalker.

"i'm off the whole weekend too...just in case you're wondering." phil's voice was unmistakably flirty. i laughed lightly, euphoric that this very-cute guy had not rejected me (yet).

"i'll make a note of that," i replied. i hoped i gave him the same vibe he was giving me.

i heard phil's muffled voice in the background, talking to someone else. "what? yeah, i can...no yeah, i can get off." i waited patiently for him to say something to me.

"hey dan, i'm sorry, but i have to cut this call short. my manager wants me to move some boxes. i'll call you again tonight, is that okay?"

i smiled, beside myself with the giddiness of meeting someone new and exciting. "yeah, of course. enjoy the rest of your shift."

phil snorted. "as if," he said, before hanging up. this boy was the perfect mixture of sweet and sarcastic--he switched between the two almost effortlessly. what talent.

turns out, my stomach realized it was hungry as soon as i ended the call. i searched for something easy to make in the fridge, unwilling to spend an hour trying to make an actual meal and possibly burn my house down in the process. i ended up making a pb&j. as you can see, i truly live a life of luxury.

after eating, i settled down in the couch and felt myself drifting off to sleep. my dreams, when i had them, didn't consist of things i could see--rather, they were feelings, emotions, or presences that could be good or bad.

once i dozed off, i felt gentle warmth spread from my head to my toes. it almost felt as if phil were hugging me.