More than you'll ever know ➳ Randy [✓] (original)

V i g n t

It was the day of Rye's funeral. His family wanted to hold it off until I was out of hospital and could go. They said it wasn't right to have it without me.

I was stood in Rye's room, staring into his mirror. I couldn't recognise the person staring back at me.
I had dark bruises underneath my eyes, caused from lack of sleep. My hair was disheveled and seemed a lot more dead. My eyes had lost their brightness, being replaced with the constant sadness and loss.

I glanced over to his bed. I imagined us laying on it, my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as he played with my hair. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath feeling a tear run down my face. When I opened my eyes the image had gone. Rye's bed was just as neat as the day he left it to go home.

None of us had touched his stuff. We couldn't bring ourselves to get rid of it yet. It felt like a horrible nightmare, that we were supposed to wake up from.

"Knock Knock"
I turned around to see Mikey, leaning in the doorway, a sad smile etched on his face. He wore and identical black suit to me and he looked just as bad. He walked in, wrapping his arms around my shoulders in a comforting way.

"Are you sure you're ok to do this?" He asked gently. I paused. Of course I wasn't ok. My best friend, my boyfriend, was dead. My rock was dead. Still, I nodded silently, not trusting my voice.

"It's ok. I understand how you're feeling"

I realized how selfish I was being. It was obviously affecting Mikey as well. After all, he knew Rye the longest and Rye was like a brother to him. I moved my arm to wrap it around him.
"Don't leave me today"
"I wouldn't dream of it"

We arrived at the church, where we were greeted by Rye's parents and his brother Robbie. They looked like they hadn't slept in weeks. Still, they smiled supportivly at us as they hugged us.
"We don't blame you Andy. We don't blame you at all" His mother whisperd as she hugged me. I gave her a sad smile.

They don't blame me, but I can't help but feel guiltily. I guess it's what they call survivors guilt. I should have died. Not Rye. Rye had so much more to live for. He was worth so much more than me.

It had been a beautiful service. Lots of people spoke about about Rye and how amazing he was . Then it was my turn. Shaking slightly, I took his place at the front of the church. I took a moment to look inside the open casket. Rye looked breath-taking, even in death. He wore a black traditional suit with his beautiful brown hair in it natural state. Rye looked so peaceful, as if he could be sleeping. God. I wished he was sleeping.

I then went and scanned the crowd. Mikey and the others boys sat in the row behind Rye's family, who were sobbing. Little way behind them, I saw mine, Mikey, Brooklyn and even Jack's parents. They were all there and on the verge of tears.

I took a deep breath, trying not to start crying. My hands shaking, I unfolded the piece of paper and started my speech.

"My name is Andy Fowler. I am-was Rye's boyfriend. There are so many things I could say about Rye. But, we would be here for hours, so I'm only going to mention a few," I paused, my eyes flickering up, making eye contact with my best friends. They smiled at me sadly.

"Rye was one of those people that could always make you smile, not matter how sad or horrible you felt. He constantly made it his mission to make us smile at least once a day, whether it was by embarrassing himself in public, or just being an idiot. But we loved it. I loved it."

"Rye was one of the most comforting people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He always knew what to say when you felt upset. He gave the best hugs. He refused to let you go until he was sure you were feeling better. Honestly. Hugging him was one of the greatest things to do. I loved him. I always have, and I always will. Because no one, no one, can ever replace him"

I stepped away, as the church burst out intoappaluse. I made a beeline to Mikey and hugged him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder.
"It's ok Andy. You've done so well"

The service finished and we all moved outside. There were groups of people talking. Mikey still had hold of my shoulders. I knew that he was probably thinking that I would collapse or something.

"Andy?" I looked up to see Robbie. I half smiled at him.
"Hey Robbie"
"Can I talk to you?" He asked "Alone" he added, glancing over a Mikey. Mjjey gave me a reassuring squeeze and walked towards the other boys.

Robbie and I walked to a more secluded place, where Rye's grave would eventually be.
"He really loved you" Robbie sighed. I bit my lip and stuffed my hands in my pockets
"I know-"
"No you don't. You don't understand how much. You were all he ever talked about, even before you started dating. You were one of the few people  he trusted. Like, properly trusted. His eyes would physically light up whenever someone mentioned you. He really loved you"

I was taken aback by his words. Did I actually mean that much to him.
"Thanks Robbie..." I trailed off. He simply nodded and turned away, leaving me on my own.

"I love him too"
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

And there we have it! The last chapter! Only the epilogue left

I'm going to post my sobby sappy stuff in a different authors note after this.

If you have any questions about me, my life or this book or just anything really, comment them and I'll answer them in that authors note I was talking about earlier

-Leo