The Beauty & The Tragedy

Late Night Propositions

Chapter One

Every living thing on this planet has a beginning, a middle, and an end. We don't get to choose the beginning or the end, it's the middle where we leave our mark. The things we do with the middle part of our lives will define who we are even after we're gone. The middle is where we make our legacy. For most people life will simply pass by and as time passes, they will fade away without ever changing the world. For others, they leave their mark on everything they touch. They become unforgettable. Thats what she was to me. Unforgettable. She was an earthquake that shook my very core and left me in a wake of complete and utter devastation.

Everyone is so quick to marvel at the beauty of being born and the adventure of life itself. The part of life that no one wants to talk about however, is death. Death is a certainty that none of us can escape. Understanding the concept of death is at first terrifying. I remember when I first realized the finality. I couldn't have been more than four years old. My dog had died of old age. I knew he was sick and that something was going to happen, I just didn't really know what. Let me be the first to tell you that once I realized dying was permanent and he wasn't coming back, I was devastated. How was I going to spend my entire life never seeing him again? How was I supposed to move on an like like he was never there in the first place? It was the first time I realized that it didn't matter how many band aids you tried to put on it, broken hearts were irreparable. You just sort of got used to it.

I remember my mom telling me that time would ease my pain. She softly whispered to me that life was about change and as I grew up I would realize that she was right. No matter how much you wanted it to, nothing would stay the same. It's amazing how much can bc learned from the loss of a beloved family pet. Part of being human was experiencing pain.

You're probably wondering what all of this has to with her. Who is she anyway, right? That's what this story is about. It's about her life and I guess in order to understand the end, you have to go back to the beginning.

I'll always remember the first time I met her. I was slightly intimidated by her direct and sometimes invasive presence. She was larger than life. You could be surrounded by a billion people, but she had a way of making you feel like the only person in the room. She had the kind of smile that could change your whole world. It was radiant. It didn't take long for me to figure out she was reckless and wild. She was absolutely crazy and absolutely beautiful. I didn't know it at the time but she would end up becoming my entire world.

She was one of the most electrifying people I had ever met. She had a grace and style about her that I had never experienced. She would figuratively and literally turn my entire world upside down. Did I mention she was breathtakingly beautiful? Her beauty wasn't purely physical, although she definitely wasn't lacking in that department. She had one of the kindest and gentlest souls I had ever encountered. She loved with her whole heart and never took anything for granted.

Looking back I wouldn't change a single thing. Even after everything I know now. The pain will always be worth it. I would choose her over and over again.

The first time I ever saw her she was sitting on the side of a boat holding a guitar and singing. What she was wearing was memorable to me because it would be last time I saw her dress like this. She was wearing a backwards snapback and a black bikini top with a pair of very short and torn up denim shorts. Her skin was tan and her hair was dyed blonde. She looked like a stereotypical west coast girl. I guess that's why they say you should never judge a book by its cover, because she was anything but typical.

She was one of my boyfriends friends from high school. He had mentioned her a couple of times but it was always in reference to her musical talent. Nick and his brother Joe were in a band and like most aspiring musicians they dreamt of fame and success. Their dream however hit a major setback when the lead guitarist quit without so much as an explainantion. That's where she came in. She could play guitar and according to Nick, she was very good at it.