Looking Through Stain Glass Hearts || Nial Horan Fic

Chapter 22

Rehearsal from then on seemed to drag for me, which wasn't unusual but today it just seemed out of place. I mean it doesn't feel like I should be overjoyed but the relief I was expecting just wasn't as gratifying because I didn't know everyone's reaction, especially a certain blonde Irish singer. During warm up I had gained enough courage to try and find him but he was no where to be seen, although neither were the other fantastic four. They were probably off preparing since show time was in two hours.

Finally we were dismissed and could leave for dinner before tonight. I struggled with closing the clasps of my case just long enough to give Miss Walters the opportunity to approach me. This confrontation is one I wish I could forget.

"So what? You think your stunt proved something? It proved absolutely nothing except that you're an attention grabbing whore," Hallie condescended adding a smirk that fit seamlessly in her face and made the conversation all the more unsettling.

"I needed to prove that you were lying, and you know you were! I had to prove I made it here and deserve to be here," I reasoned while clasping my last clip to my case and held it in front of me as a barrier between me and her.

"That's where you are wrong. Girls who sabotage other girls and lie about their intentions don't deserve to be here," she spat and I shrunk away from her voice and the bite that was hidden beneath it.

"I didn't sabotage anyone and I did tell you I wasn't going to mess with Niall and even though I didn't completely follow through, it doesn't mean I didn't want to. I swear my intentions were goods they just got mucked up a bit," I explained hoping she would believe me. I saw her looking almost through me, as if she were calculating options.

"Trust me, you may think your intentions were good, but now everyone knows the truth, you are just a lying slut with a talent wasted," she knew her words were lethal and I wanted to back down but I just couldn't let her win. I had to retort but tears were stinging my eyes and the smirk on her face grew two times as large as the original. This only discouraged me more and then I felt some hands on my back.

"She is much, much more than that. Her talent is exercised in full and she is also quite honest unlike someone who has now lied to everyone on this tour. But you can bet when I find that whole audition tape I am definitely going to show it and prove you are the only lying slut here," Sadie butted in and I wanted so badly to have taken over but instead it seems everyone else had a say.

"Can't fight your own battles," Hallie criticized.

"She needs an army since you insist on playing dirty," Bonnie retorted. At that point Hallie seemed at a loss for words which for her may have been a first. I wanted to say that this was all just a huge misunderstanding being thrown out of proportion, but actually it was her who was blowing things out of perspective. Then I had remembered the conversation slash pep talk in the hall with everyone and knew that all the lies Hallie told the crew, she had also told to Niall and the girls reported that he seemed to believe them. I frantically looked around the room to see if the boys had become visible again, but to no avail and all my he's were dashed.

I completely tuned out the fight going on and bgwm scanning the room countless times to see if my dream man would appear and I could explain everything, but time and time again it didn't happen. I was reeling frustrated with the disappointment that followed each 'I Spy' game I was playing with myself. The desperation soon kicked in and I was beginning to lose hope as all the crew set up for the show. I could then hear the crowd of girls and realized Lila, Bonnie, and Sam had taken there places on the stage looking pretty fierce. Then I glanced over and Hallie was scowling at her stand while Sadie looked displeasingly at her own.

I wished the that I had listened to the rest of the argument although I pretty sure it consisted of a lot of insults and plenty of threats. Something I only dabbled in when nessacary. Soon the show began and a drum roll sounded off before all the guys entered the stage. The crowd erupted as usual, and I saw Niall because he happened to be right next to the orchestra pit. I desperately tried to find eye contact but it wasn't working. I just wanted to end all this and move on, but I guess that isn't how drama works. It's a process.

They began singing "Na Na Na" and I desperately tried to make eye contact but I guess he was avoiding me just like I was avoiding him. I craned my neck when he would pass by our side of the stage, but it was beginning to be a bit ridiculous. I almost wanted to just stand up on a chair and yell at him, but that would be inappropriate, and get me fired, and a little embarrassing. So, I kept on trying to connect with him but the more I tried and failed, the more frustrated and depressed I got. I actually missed the beginning to "Moments" and was flailing to get back in.

Although, my small mishap had gotten his attention, and he was looking in my direction. I took my eyes of the sheet music and mimed my playing to look at him. It was a long stare that seemed endless. He looked forlorn, and nit form physical exertion but mental worry. His brow was creased and his eyes didn't light up like they usually did during a show. I felt somewhat responsible and he all of sudden broke eye contact and sang his solo which means I was miming way past my part, and i looked around and everyone was giving me an inquisitive look.

We played on, and soon the show ended and the boys exited the stage to go meet the VIP girls. We began to pack up and help move equipment as best we could, I mean I can only lift so much with my scrawny arms. Once everything was put up and we were heading back to the buses. I met up with Sades, Sam, Bonnie, and Lila. They asked me about my apparently noticeable stare between Niall and I.

"It was saddening to seem him so down. I can't believe I'm doing this," I admitted to them.

"This is not your fault, don't you think that for a minute. Keigan, this is all Hallie Walters and her lies," Sadie spoke up. Then she looked ove emu shoulder and gave a small wave, oh no. I turned and saw five lads coming our way.

"Here's your chance to explain yourself," Lila hushed as the boys were now in front of us. Louis kissed Sadie on the cheek and then interlocked their fingers and she smiled lovingly at him while leaning her head his shoulder with a happy sigh. Liam on the other hand hugged Samantha from behind before kissing her othe cheek before just resting his head n her shoulder. Lila hugged Zayn friendly and Bonnie also received a kiss on the cheek from Harry. Then there was Niall, who approached me as if he was afraid of me which really hurt.

"Can we talk?" he asked while looking towards the ground. Scraping the toe of his supra against the pavement.

"Sure," I replied timidly. He then motioned with his head towards a way far from the group and I began walking in that direction. We seemed to be by a doorway with a light hanging above the frame.

"Your eye looks better," he commented, still not meeting my eyes.

"Thanks," I said although the silence that ensued after was unbearable. Tension was so thick and it turned into this like milk to butter so I had to break, "what do you wanna talk about?"

"I just, what happened?"

"I auditioned, I messed up, I played something more impressive to make up for it, and I left," I explained in the simplest way possible.

"That's it? That's all you did?" he asked finally look up at me.

"What do you think I did?" I asked back with some anger evident in my voice.

"Well it has been rumored you did other things besides play your violin to get to where you are," he said quietly and it threw me through a loop.

"And you believe them?" I asked incredulously, "you know I thought you knew me better than that but I guess I was wrong."

"It's not that it's more-"

"Don't you believe me?"

"I don't know who to believe," he cried out in the heat of it. I was hurt that he didn't believe me, but glad he didn't believe Hallie, either.

"And I don't know how to prove I'm right, so you are going to have to trust my word," I told him looking straight into his oceans for eyes.

"I don't know if I can, I mean Hallie had evidence," he said reasoning with me and that is when my heart curled up.

"Then go talk to Hallie," I replied and then turned on my heels and headed back to the bus. I heard him call out my name but he didn't run after me. If he had I may have turned around and ran into his arms and made romantic movie of it all, but screenwriters had given up on making my life a romance, they liked it better as a tragedy.