Summer After High School

14

Paige

"Kyle. If you love someone, you would forgive their wrong doings right? No one is perfect so the rational thing to do would be to forgive their mistakes right? "

Even as I ask him, I'm no longer certain that forgiveness is always the answer.

"You've asked this before. You're probably right, everyone makes mistakes. No one is infallible, " he says, his eyes failing to avert from the work he's doing. "

I nod slightly and proceed to ask the other part of the question that's been on my mind lately.

"But what if their mistakes are continuous? What if they keep making the same mistakes? What happens next? Is it okay to keep tolerating the same mistakes? "

Kyle shifts his gaze towards me. I realize he's done fixing my shower.

"Paige. There's a difference between mistakes and habits. Now, I am not trying to steer you in the direction of the decision of the make but I want you to know something. When a mistake is repeated continuously, it ceases to be a mistake. Do you understand? "

I nod. I think I understand In a way.

He takes a few steps towards me and places a hand on my right shoulder.

"A repeated mistake is a habit. So if you keep tolerating the same mistake from someone without disciplining them, you're simply telling them that it's okay to continue exhibiting their negative acts towards you. As long as you keep tolerating it, they won't stop. Why would they? If they know that no matter how they act, somehow you'll still end up tolerating it. Don't get me wrong, Paige. it's not wrong to tolerate the mistakes of someone you love but when they keep making the same mistakes, they're simply taking advantage of your tolerance. "

I nod again as his speech sinks in.

"It's easier said, you know? "

After I speak, his hands come off my shoulder and he heads for my window.

"I recall telling you that I wasn't in a position where I was willingly allowed to interact with much girls, right? "

He's gazing at the sun as he speaks. The sun rays are reflecting on his bare chest.

"Yeah. You mentioned that."

He lift his shoulders slightly and drop them immediately.

"Well as a result of that, I haven't really felt true love. So you're right, it's easier for me to say this because I haven't been in your situation. But Paige, you should know the kind of love that you deserve, he should know the kind of love that you deserve too and he should work on himself to be that guy. If he can't change his bad attitudes so that he would stop hurting you then I'm not sure he deserves you."

After speaking he turns his gaze towards me and the sun rays reflect on his face. His eyes are laced with genuine concern and for the tiniest quarter of an hour, I feel like he understands how I feel even though he hasn't been in my situation before.

My eyes glisten with tears because I'm confused. I don't understand how someone could love another and proceed to continuously hurt them.

He notices the change in my composure and worry is written all over his face as he starts walking toward me.

"Are you, are you crying? " he asks, his voice is firm yet feeble in a way.

"It's nothing. Just my allergies. "

As the lie leave my mouth, I know he knows that I'm lying.

He runs his hands lightly through my hair and pushes it backward so that no part of it hides my face.

"Do you, do you want me to stay? " he asks, his worried brown eyes are transfixed on my tear brimmed blue eyes.

I want him to stay. I could really use company.

"I mean. Do you want me to stay around for a while and keep you company? I could shift my movement into my apartment to the next day and I could take a day off from work, if you really need to talk to someone. "

The ringing of my phone disrupts the gaze we're both sharing. It's Brian again. My head hurts. I don't answer it.

I do really need company but I can't be selfish to ask him to forfeit his planned activities for the day just to keep me company.

"It's fine Kyle. I'll be fine. "

I turn around and wipe the tears that are brimmed in my eyes.

"Take care of yourself, Paige. And incase you need someone to talk to, call me. "

When I avert my eyes to him, he's scribbling his phone number on a book  he found on my desk.

I smile slightly. I like that he's concerned about me.

I hand him a towel to dry his chest when I see he is about to put his shirt on.

He nods In appreciation, dries his body and picks up his shirt.

"Kyle? " I call when he's about to leave.

In response, he lets his gaze fall on me.

"When you said you weren't in a position to be willingly allowed to interact with much girls. What did you mean? "

I am now fully aware that I don't know much about him but he knows alot about me.

He tries to smile but I can tell that he don't like the memory that's replying in his mind at the moment.

"Let's just say that, my parents didn't let me interact with alot of people, both girls and boys. They were extremely selective of the kind of people I associated with. "

"Over protective parents huh? " I ask.

"I don't think that was their reason," he says.

"They love you, you know? They only did what they did because they were scared of you associating with the wrong people. They just wanted their boy to be safe. "

He smiles weakly and says, "You don't understand. I don't think that's the situation here. "

"I think it is. I mean what other reason would they have for doing that? "

He shrugs.

"All I can do is to assume the answer to that question. That's a question only them  genuinely know the answer to."

"I want to know more about your family, " I say.

His composure is stern now.

"Unfortunately. I don't like talking about them and there's not much to talk about them. They're just strict people, especially dad. "

"Do you miss them? " I ask.

He chuckles.

"Let's stop talking about my family. I'll be leaving now. Call me if you need to talk okay? "

I nod.

"Bye Kyle. "

"See you soon, " he says closing the door behind him.