Summer After High School

5

Paige

"Well, can I come in? " he asks.

I must have been staring at him for so long that I forgot to let him in.

"Yeah sorry. I'm just surprised to see you here. "

He smiles but one intense look at my face and his smile disappears.

"You don't look okay. Have you been crying? " he asks.

"No, I'm fine, " I reply as he starts loosening the straps of bottled water from a motorcycle, the motorcycle he came with.

"Whoa. I didn't know you had
company, " he says, when he sees Brian.

At this moment, I'm finding it difficult to find the words to say to him. Maybe I'm just really surprised to see him.

"Is that the boyfriend? " he asks in a whisper.

I nod in response. Just go, Kyle. Supply the water and ride your motor cycle back home or wherever you need to be.

"Hey dude, " he calls out to Brian.

"What's up ?" Brian asks in response.

"Just doing my job," he says.

Can this get more awkward?

"Could you sign this? " Kyle asks, handing me a book.

Unlike Brian's, his finger nails are so short. They look like they've been chewed. Okay, I should stop looking at his finger nails.

"You know that saying, Forget what you feel and remember what you deserve? " he whispers in my ears.

I nod in response as I sign, feeling even more awkward by the close gesture.

"Well, I think you should really think about it. "

I don't reply him. I just return the book to him.

"Goodbye Paige. I hope I see you soon again. "

"Bye."

Really, I don't want to encounter him anymore this summer. He knows too much about my problems and I don't know any of his.

"Seems like you and the water guy knew each other? " Brian asks when he leaves.

"Yeah. We do. "

And his name is Kyle, not water guy!

"What did he whisper to you? "

"That's none of your business. Can you just leave? I want to be alone. "

"Babe. I'm sorry for asking. I was just curious. "

"I just asked you to leave, didn't I? "

His eyes widen and his lips slightly part. Is he actually surprised that I'm kicking him out after what he did to me?

"I hope you can forgive me, Paige. " he plants a kiss on my left cheek.

I hate that his lips still has the power to fill me with warmth.

"Goodbye Brian."

When he leaves, I recite Kyle's word. Forget what you feel, Paige and remember what you deserve. Believe me, it's easier said than done.
**********

A week has passed and things are still the same. The image of Brian cheating still haunts and hurts me. I know this is going to sound lame but, despite the hurt, I still want him back, I still want to be with him. I still miss him.

Everyone has noticed how down I've been lately, but I always find an excuse to cover it up. I'm confused, I'm stuck between totally letting Brian go and letting him back into my life. Letting him go would hurt like hell, letting him back could create a room for what happened to repeat itself and that would hurt like hell too. This is hard.