7- Playing Drunk

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“Oh my God, Todd.” I laughed breathily as I clutched my sides. “You, you crack me up,” I slurred as I pointed the now-empty bottle of vodka in his direction.

He leaned back against the wall and threw his head back in laughter, “You are so drunk”

“I. Am. Not. Drunk.” I yelled out, placing my most serious glare on my face. It only held for a moment before I dissolved into giggles and began rolling on the floor.

Oh Todd. What a crack up. And don’t even get me started on Gary.

“I am most definitely not drunk,” I repeated for added impact, while sitting up again and smoothing out my skirt properly.

“Gary doesn’t believe you,” Todd argued as he stuck his tongue out of me.

“Well Gary is perverted and can go to hell.” I threw my hand up in the air wildly, “I am not drunk,” I laughed as I pushed myself up and stumbled into the side of the bed. I doubled over, cackling like a hyena.

“Liar Liar pants on fire,” Todd teased as he made a series of bizarre faces in quick succession.

“Stop it. That’s it. I’m outta here,” I protested as I made my way to the door slowly.

“No,” I stumbled as I felt Todd clamp his arms around my legs. “Don’t go. Gary’s sowwy.” Tears streamed down his red face.

“Now now young grasshopper,” I adopted a sensei-like seriousness as I patted Todd’s head, “I must seek out my chamber and attain some beauty sleep.”

“Fine,” Todd sniffled and I patted his cheek affectionately.

“See you later young’un.”

The hallway was dark and deserted, but it didn’t bother me like usual. In fact it was exhilarating. I wanted to skip.

“Olly Olly Oxen free,” I sang obnoxiously as I began skipping. However, I soon skipped straight into the opposite wall.

I groaned as I rubbed my nose. “Evil wall spirits you shall be defeated,” I shouted as I punched the wall as hard as I could.

“Ouchies,” I yelped, waving my hand erratically in the air.

I stuck part of my fist in my mouth and cringed at the coppery taste on my knuckles. Stupid evil wall spirits. I glowered as I unsteadily waked forward. But suddenly I tripped on air and found myself staring at the ceiling.

“Ceiling spirits. Hear my apologies. I come in peace,” I widened my eyes pleadingly as I gave the wall the ‘I come in Peace’ hand signal.

But I don’t think the ceiling was a very forgiving thing because it was spinning and moving before my eyes in a way that made my head throb.
“Meanie,” I mumbled as I rolled over to face the wall.

However as I did so, I scraped my bloody knuckles against the floor. I squealed in shock before I rolled on my back and started laughing hysterically.

Oh my God, I’m so stupid.

“Princess?”

“I am no princess,” I shouted, “I am the great and powerful sensei!” I rolled over and laughed again until my abs began feeling sore.

“Drunk or high?” Jack questioned, raising an eyebrow.

I giggled as he slid an arm around my waist and hoisted me up. I clutched onto his shirt as I looked up into his eyes.

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