Chapter 14: What Happens In The Gilbert House

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I walked into Elena's home and found Matt pouring out mugs of tea. It was always weird coming back to the Gilbert House. Sometimes it felt like the home I had never left, sometimes it felt natural that I had left it behind, and other times, like today, I didn't know.

"How is she?" I asked him as I sat down at the table.

"She's recovering. Won't come out of her room. I think she's waiting for you." He told me as he put down the mug in front of me.

"Thanks." I told him as I sipped the tea.

"You know I asked Elena something." Matt started. "I asked her what it was about Damon and Stefan that made her have feelings for them."

"And she said that Stefan made her feel safe because he would never die. And then she said Damon just snuck up on her." I told him.

"You've asked her before?" He asked me.

"Didn't have to."

"Because it's the same for you?"

"No, because Elena's my twin." I answered with a shrug. "And I know her. I also know you which means you want my answer."

"Guilty." He said with a chuckle.

"Do you know when I first decided I wanted to be famous?" I asked him.

"When you popped out the womb?" He replied with a chuckle.

"It was when I was 3. I wanted a Barbie doll and my parents said no." I told him. "And stupid as it may seem, I felt powerless. I hated feeling that way. And I'd always heard that money makes the world go round. The more people knew your name, the more power you had. So I did it. And for a while, it was great. When I got famous enough, producers couldn't control me and then I got emancipated and not even my parents couldn't control me. And then they died. And all that power I had just felt useless because there were things not even I could control. And then I found out vampires were real. People that literally controlled their own fate. Not even death could stop them. And I wanted that. And Klaus, he was powerful. He would bend anything and everything to his will and I couldn't help but feel drawn to that. I understood why he wanted to be a hybrid because if I had the chance to be the most powerful being in existence, then I would want it too. And when I died for his ritual, I felt peace because I died on my own terms. But then he took choice away from me too. He made me feel powerless. And I felt all the power he could give me lose its weight because just as he gave it to me, he took it away."

"Enter Elijah." Matt said knowingly.

"Enter Elijah. With Elijah, I saw that even if you had all the power in the world, that wasn't what made you happy. Not alone at least. With Elijah, I felt like I had to live. And I mean really live, for something more than the next best thing. With Klaus, I was controlling death and with Elijah I was controlling life."

"So why not just pick one?" He asked me.

"Because I can't help but want both." I told him sadly. "I know, I'm the worst."

"I wasn't gonna say that." He told me with a smile. "I get it, once you love someone, I don't think you can ever get over them."

"I can't tell if we're talking about me and Elena or you and Elena." I said with a raised brow.

"I don't know. Both." He said with a shrug. "You need each other. Like it or not."

"For the record Matty, I used to have a massive crush on you." I told him which made his eyes widen in surprise.

"What?"

"Yup! And I would do all sorts to get your attention but you only had eyes for Elena." I said with a chuckle.

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