Unfulfilled Desires (Adhori Chahatein)

*Collecting Myself*

Wasiq-POV

I walk into my Lake-view villa, where nobody could get in touch with me because first of all they don't know where it is and second of all they have to take a yacht to reach me with my permission.

And the permission is what I won't give. The villa with six rooms, bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen. But there is nothing to fill these room with, there is no furniture, photo frames, anything I could be in need of.

I sit down on the ground which is cold, a shiver runs down me with the remaining warmth left inside of me. The wall size of a glass window facing me in the front. The lake, it is so calm and smooth. The water is still and with the touch of a fallen leaves it stirs. The entire lake is stir with turbulence.

I am the lake at the moment, everything is troubled. My emotion to my life is all in pain. My chest heaves in pain to know the truth about myself.

How am I gonna make a sense of my life now, I have always thought I had a family that no matter what happens to me I will have my family to return to. My father to whom I was and is nothing is what drove me to be successful. I wanted him to praise, love, and trust me like how he did to Naveed.

Now all that seems to be a faraway thought...thoughts that once I could dream of making it true but now it is dream which I have to leave for the sake of my well-being.

Tears flows, I don't care if that makes me look sassy. I am a human before being a man. A human who feels the depth of things. The little things which eats you away to nothingness which sometimes leeches onto your heart to suck off all the goodness you have.

Sometimes, we find ourselves at a fault for letting the leech of hope to suck the love you have for people who knows nothing of the meaning of love. Sometimes, you have to be brave enough to pull it off to stop yourself from falling deeper into its hold.

I am going to brave to pull myself together for the sake of myself and Raseen.

Raseen...

Where is she??

Has she also decided to leave me like everybody else?

"Raseen" I wail her name in the quiet of the room.

I get up and look around for my phone like a lunatic. My phone, I have to contact her to come here to save me. To save my heart. It's cracking and scattering everywhere, I want her to mend it. Her touch to heal me and to be my healer.

My reason to breathe is her and if I don't have her by my side I am going to be left so miserable that nothing would ever make me feel like anything.

When I finally find my phone. I turn it on and there are so many voicemail's and messages of concern but none bother me as much I Raseen.

"I am leaving."

This is all she has messaged me. She is leaving me like the rest of them. She too felt the need to say that.

Why

I scream and smacking the hand with the phone onto the glass window. The phone screen cracks and I throw it across the room as it touches me deeply that I am the one with faults. There is something in me which makes people leave me. And I can't do anything to stop them from leaving me.

The feeling of being alone is havoc because you cry with your own thoughts. And you need somebody to save you from your thoughts. It makes you feel like stranded in a wide vast blue ocean, heading nowhere. And that nothingness, nowhereness is like a giant murky pit, sucking up all your life. And in the end, leaving you numb, you are nothing but alive-dead.