Unfulfilled Desires (Adhori Chahatein)

I am Not Their

WASiQ --- POV

I watch her in the rearview mirror as I drive out of the house. She is standing there with expressionless face. I don't stop driving, making a distance. She disappears when I make a curve.

I am very furious at her. I am mad. I am angry. She makes me so frustrated and I hate that. I hate that she doesn't share everything with me. I hate that she keeps things to herself. I hate that I have put her in danger. I hate that she is still in contact with Dr. Banks. I hate that she has to struggle to speak about the things which are killing her. She shouldn't save me while going through a phase of ache. She doesn't have to be a perfect person. She should tell me...no demandingly voice her flaws and my faults. I wouldn't judge. I wouldn't let her be on her on. I would always protect her because she is mine. My heart owns her beats. And it should only beat with my permission.

I smack the steering wheel in frustration as her words rings in my ears.

I can't tell you

Why can't she. Why can't she tell me what made her sick? It breaks me that she is so stress out. My existence in her life is messing her up. She is putting on an act, when everything hurts.

I swivel the car to an empty side of the road, letting the engine die. I wish somehow I could turn the life like a car to a stop. To stop the flooding of mixture of emotions. My head starts to throbs as it falls onto the steering. I groan when the ache dissipates to my heart. It is aching.

What do I do?

Why am I always at such end? There is nothing normal for me. I don't belong anywhere in anybody life. I struggle and still do with the need to be wanted and loved.

I feel like complaining and since there is nobody to listen to me. So I should complain to myself because I have always listened to my own sorrows. To everyone, I don't matter. I don't mean a thing.

Ughhhhh...What a fluster up situation I am in.

When my nerves have calmed down, sanity finally returning. And the aches, not completely gone rather planning to stay. I twist the key back in the car to roll along the path.

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I don't understand this, dad is stopping me from getting tested. Does he hate me this much that he doesn't want a piece of me inside his bones. Why does he always do this to me? I thought he cherish Naveed so then why is he refusing to save him. His life is at stake.

We have to save each other for everyone sake. This is what twins do, they are helping each other from the start. That's what we have done and we should continue to do so. I can't let him be in pain. We have shared so many things together now that if something were to happen to him, I wouldn't be able to live. My breathing will stop with his. I love him, my brother.

"Stop it," I yell, silencing him "I don't know the reason for your loathness but not today."

This is hard. My heart is beating with intensity.

"Today or ever again, you come between me and Naveed. I wouldn't care who you are to me. I will not stand it. I am going to save him and you will just stand here, watching everything silently."

"You save those who you can" he growls.

"With all my power, I will" I brawl.

We are standing in the living room in everyone presence while they just listen to our heated exchange.

He lit a cigar, takes a quick drag and puff it in the air, leaving a burn smell. He settles down in the chair, crossing one leg over the other. His figurine projects a strong aura which makes me slightly undermining.