AFFLICTION.

Chapter 11

I managed a laugh and begin to enjoy myself as the wind blew through my hair, the speed increasing by the second. Before I knew it the adventure was over, leaving my head spinning in a way I had never imagined. I climbed out of my seat with shaky legs and a spinning head. "Bloody hell," I muttered to myself. I was surprised when I felt Harry's hands grip my waist from behind to support my unsteady strides.

Neither Esma or the others were to be seen when we exited the ride. "Wow." I laughed and Harry turned to face me, his eyes starring into mine once again.

Suddenly desire filled Harry's eyes and he reached out to tuck loose strands of hair behind my ear, it took everything I had not to lean into the palm of his hand and fall into his arms. Harry stepped closer to me and suddenly everything around us became mute. The theme park which once bustled around me became still and silent. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to feel his pink lips against mine and his hands on my body. We were now inches apart I could almost taste his lips.

"Harry...I  cant." I whispered, placing my hands on his chest. He shut his eyes and I followed. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but I couldn't help the hesitation that grew in the back of my mind. 

I pulled away from Harry's touch and felt a pang of guilt for the look that now crossed his face. confusion, sadness, rejection. 

With my hands, still on his chest and his still in my hair, I looked up into his face. His brows were furrowed, his lips were slightly parted and his breathing was still shallow.

Perhaps under different circumstances, I would have given Harry my all, shown interest and fallen into his arms without hesitation. I wanted to feel for Harry, I wanted to fall for him, knowing that if I let myself, I would. But this was war. Times were hard and unpredictable, Harry could be killed in a German invasion tomorrow, God, I could be killed in a German invasion tomorrow. I couldn't let myself grow strong feelings for a person who may not even be in my life in a month. Esma was the only person in my life at the moment who I truly cared for, and that's the way I intended to keep it.

"HEY!" a voice called from behind and roughly grabbed my arm, pulling me away from Harry's grasp.

"We have to go!" Daisy spoke with complete and utter annoyance, arms crossed over her chest and head cocked to one side.

Harry had not spoken since the roller coaster ride and I was worried that he was upset. I cleared my throat and swallowed. "Bye Lianna," he spoke with disappointment. His lips didn't smile but his eyes were still soft which reassured me.

I managed a small wave and slowly walked away from him. Daisy pulled me through the crowds of the park, roughly grasping my arm.

"Can you hurry up! We've been waiting for you for 20 minutes." She groaned.

"Ouch, let go of me." I removed my arm from her tight grasp. Despite her small stature, Daisy was strong.

"What the hell was that?" She asked in anger. Daisy and I now faced each other and if it hadn't been for Fergus and Esma's presence, I swear she would have slapped me right across the face.

"Oh, my Gosh you went on the roller coaster Lianna!!!" Esma squealed hugging me from behind. I shook my head slightly to clear my clouded thoughts. I gripped onto Esma's arms and turned to face her. I was so relieved to see Esma's face, her warm touch and kind eyes. It reassured me completely.

"Esma, I was so scared I thought I was going to pass out, but I actually enjoyed myself!" I retorted.

Fergus gave me a wave before voicing a quick goodbye and leaving to find Harry.

"We'll see you tonight!" Fergus called. What? Tonight? Esma must have made plans. Daisy had stormed off and we were now making our way towards our quarters, with Evie dawdling behind.

Esma and I were linking arms. "Lianna, Fergus is so damn cute!" I chuckled at her excitement.

"I mean he's just so funny and charismatic and he has the best stories!" She threw her head back in laughter as if remembering something from early on.

"Oh and we're seeing them tonight. You, me, Daisy, Evie, Fergusss.." She emphasised his name. "And Harry."  She said with a nudge.

"That Harry is so handsome Lianna, and the way he was staring at you, I think he's got a thing for you." She spoke with a large grin.

"Ha, I don't know about that," I spoke cluelessly but Esma rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What happened between you two?" She asked, walking through the doorway of our quarters.

"I'll tell you later." I groaned, falling onto my small bed with a loud exhale. "I need a quick nap."

The roller coaster, the situation with Harry and all that had happened today had tired me out, I drifted off into a deep sleep, still dressed in my clothes and shoes. I wanted Harry, I truly did, but knew that I couldn't commit to someone so strongly when I was at risk of losing them too soon.