There Must Be Something More

90 | This Is Where You Want Me To Be

I stood there by the door. I stood there staring at my mom. And she and Dad stood staring at me too.

Finally, I said, "What... E-mail?"

"This E-mail from your principal," she repeated, obviously a little irritated that I had to reiterate. That was one thing she didn't like--repeating herself. Often times when she asked me to do the dishes, I'd pretend not to hear until she comes barging in my room to go through with it again.

That's a bad habit, I know. But I also knew at that time by God's grace I was changing.

I gathered my guts to walk up to her, toss my backpack on the couch, and take her phone as she handed it to me. With shaky palms, I read what was said on the E-mail:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Borlock,

I hope you are aware of your son, Charlie Borlock, violating certain rules in our school's code of conduct. I have given him a warning about this, but he just does not listen. I am very concerned about your son and his limitless religious beliefs. I am afraid he is very close to expulsion. Please see me on the day you are convenient. I am hoping for your kind consideration and response.

Truly yours,

Caleb Powell, PhD

Principal

"So?" My mom had her hands on her hips. And I knew from that gesture she was really upset.

"This... This is not true," I said. I shook my head to convince them how serious I was.

"So you're saying Principal Powell is lying? The principal of your school?" Dad asked, looking as skeptical as ever. He raised his thick eyebrows at me, the worry lines on his forehead showing.

"Well... it looks that way," I said. I knew I sounded crazy. But I had no idea what to say either.

"Is this what you traded baseball for?" My mom had to ask. "Is this why you quit baseball? To become a delinquent? And I was actually happy for you leaving that ambitious sport. But I guess it's better than what you're doing now. What's that church doing to you?"

"What?" I demanded. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't stand it. But I stood my ground.

"That church must be ruining you, son," Dad said calmly. Unlike Mom, he wasn't high-strung.

"It's not my church, Dad. And I'm not breaking any rules. My school's non-sectarian, which means we have freedom with our beliefs. I don't know what the principal's talking about. And we talked about it. He even made a deal with me."

"What kind of deal? Charlie, what in the world are you talking about?" Mom asked.

"I want to share my faith through handing out tracts. You know. And Meredith, Samuel, and the rest of the team and I asked permission to do so by borrowing one of the school's photocopy machine. The principal said before we could do so, we would have to prove reasonable evidence for our faith. And I just did so--tonight. I presented scientific evidence for the existence of God. It was a clean and done deal. I don't know why the principal would be sending you something like this," I said, shaking my head as I looked at the E-mail again.

Mom walked over to me and snatched her phone. "Well, whatever it is it's pretty serious! Charlie Borlock, he's talking about you getting expelled from school. What about your permanent record? That kind of phenomenon will stain it. Do you hear me?"

"Mom, we had a deal. The principal's not sticking to it." I said. Well, more likely convinced, really.

"That's not what his E-mail says," Dad snapped.

"You believe him more than your own son?" I asked, hurt. I clenched my teeth in the feeling of rejection and betrayal. I had never felt like it before. At least, not from my own parents and something as serious as this.

"Honey, I'm getting really worried about you," Mom said, shaking her head. "Okay, in all honesty, there have been changes with you that I really liked--like you quitting baseball and breaking up with that obnoxious girlfriend of yours. And I even like your new friends Meredith and Samuel. But... if your religion is making you some kind of rule-breaker, it's got to go. It's not good for you and your educational future. What, are you just going to oppose to people who don't have the same beliefs as you?"

"What?" I was hearing everything insane that night. "I'm not opposing to people and their beliefs. I'm telling them the truth. Mom, you know me. I don't even force you to believe like I do. How much more for people I don't personally know yet? Mom, I'm merely telling them what I known is the truth. And I even have the evidence backed up for it."

"Charlie, honey, there is no absolute truth," Mom said affectionately. But I just felt disgusted with her words.

"If there isn't, then what you're saying is not the truth either," I said.

"What?"

"Mom, if you say there is no absolute truth, then I can't trust what you're saying either."

"You're confusing me."

"That's exactly what it is!" I said. "Atheists or agnostics or religious fanatics or pantheists or deists or whatever can't justify for their own morality. But I can, Mom. Because I know what's right is what God says. And I can say there is something as morally wrong because God says there is. And I know I have to tell people that truth to keep them from living a lie."

"So you're saying your dad and I are living a lie? A one big lie?" Mom challenged.

"Mom, I'm not going to argue with you about beliefs." I said. I grabbed my backpack, slung it over my shoulder, and started my way up the steps.

"Charlie Borlock, I'm going to come to your principal's office sooner or later. And we're going to have to reach a verdict. But right now, I'm on the same page as your principal. I don't approve of this religion of yours and I want you to stop," Mom said, "because if you don't, I'm not going to have a son who's going to risk everything for something as irrelevant as religion. This is exactly why your dad and I don't go to any kind of church. Religion is just something people made up to manipulate people. You're not going to have any home to go to."

I stopped at the top of the staircase. I gripped my backpack strap tight, feeling the tears well up.

God, this is where You want me to be, I decided. It wasn't easy at all. It was as if I had been shot by a million arrows behind my back. To make matters worse, it was my own parents firing them.

I turned. I gritted my teeth.

"Mom, Dad, I love you so much. Even more now since I accepted Jesus. But I have to do what's right for the One who did the right thing for me even though it seemed ridiculous. And if you can't accept that I'm going to stand for this, I'll happily accept your offer to leave. You don't have to clear out Michael's room anymore. Grandma and Grandpa can stay in mine."

They stared at me, obviously dumbstruck.

Then Mom sighed. "We'll find out after I have a talk with your principal."

I nodded.

I turned on my heel and walked to my bedroom, which I felt like the last few times I'd be coming in now. I thought about the people I could bunk in with by the end of our lectures.

I was pretty sure I'd be gone by then.