78 | Paradoxical

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I held the simple piece of paper in my hands as if it were priceless treasure. It might as well be. It held the answer to my current problem.

Taking a deep breath, I read what was written in felt pen. It said:

Dear Charlie,

If you think this letter's really long, it's because I like to write a lot. I used to keep a journal during my middle school days, you know. I don't know if I have much time to tell you this in person. I don't even know when you're coming back here. But I just want to tell you the last moments I've spent with you, brother, they were the best moments of my life. Hey, if only it could last a little longer, right? But I believe it will--it may be in this life or the next.

How do I know that? Well, I did what you told me I should do. I repented and trusted in Jesus. I don't know. I may not know everything, but as soon as you guys left my room, I have been feeling... weird. I've always looked for something more to this life. I've always questioned why things are as they are. I could never understand if this universe all existed because of one big explosion, which is the Big Bang, I don't get how people could have feelings, how people could be happy, hurt, or sad. Or why do animals exist in various kinds? Or if we were made from stardust, why can we reproduce and such? Shouldn't everybody just fall out of the sky all the time since we're all made of stardust? It doesn't make sense. And if Darwinian evolution were real and we did evolve from monkeys, why do monkeys still exist? And why have I not seen animals evolve into another animal in this time and age? It doesn't make sense.

But when it came to Jesus, it all made sense. It's a paradox. I just downloaded a Bible app out of curiosity when you were gone. I read Genesis. It all made sense. I used to think Christianity sounded crazy, but thinking about it, seeing my life flash before my eyes, it was as if I just realized something truly real--everything I knew, my atheistic views, were meaningless. They didn't get me anywhere. They never made sense. No one could explain why a big explosion could ever happen out of nothing in space. No one can explain why no one has seen animals evolve in this 21st century if that is the cycle of life. No one can explain why we can reproduce--humans and animals involved--if we all came from stardust.

But you explained Jesus to me as if it was that easy to understand. Sure, it may seem complicated, but with careful investigation, it will all come out as paradoxical. And it does.

Anyway, bottom line is, Charlie, I do believe. I believe Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect life and died for my sins. And if you're reading this, that must mean I'm with God now.

I'll leave you with a verse that will perfectly sum up my message for you:

Simon Peter asked him, "Lord, where are you going?" Jesus replied, "Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later." ~John 13:36

Your brother,

Liam Kirby

P.S. I love you, brother. Tell Sophie I'll miss her, so she better trust in Jesus too so we'll see each other again!

Just right after I read the last word, my eyes brimmed with tears. Drops of it fell onto the letter and I quickly wiped them.

Sophie and Grandpa Chuck exchanged glances.

"Can I keep this?" I asked Sophie.

She smiled. "Of course."

Grandpa Chuck put an arm around me and I hugged him tight. "God was right. Liam's in heaven... with Him. I'm so... glad..." I was gasping for breath through tears and snot. It was an embarrassing moment, but I didn't care. I just found out my best friend became a Christian before he died. He's not in hell. He's not in an awful place. He's alive.

And the best part? He's alive with God!

I couldn't stop sobbing. God's faithfulness astounded me.

Even when I disobeyed Him, even when I used Him as an excuse to be all worldly and procrastinate on evangelism, He still saved Liam. I knew He didn't do it for me, of course. But I couldn't believe how faithful God still was because I obeyed Him and took the chance to tell Liam about Him once I realized the error of my ways.

Before walking back to my house, I took the private time with Grandpa Chuck to ask him about an important question that had been brewing in my mind like a hot morning coffee.

"What does it mean to be saved?" I asked the old man when Sophie was gone and we were alone in the front porch.

"What do you mean, sport?"

"I mean, if all we have to do is repent and trust in Jesus to attain salvation, wouldn't it be useless to do good works? I mean, of course there's being grateful and everything, but shouldn't there be more than that? I get that it's because of being grateful too, but... there must be something more to it too, right?"

"That's a really good question, Charlie. And I'm glad you're getting curious about the deeper things of Jesus," he said. He sighed and smiled. "Well, it is true that we attain the gift of eternal life through repentance and faith in Jesus alone. But we keep the salvation through obedience to His Will. See, when we repent and trust in Jesus, we are delivered from the penalty of sin, which is eternal death as said in Romans 6:23. Sin is no more part of our lives. And sin ultimately means disobedience to God. So the next thing we have to do to keep our salvation is to obey God.

"Take Philippians 2:12: Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

"Obeying God is not works. Some people mistakenly say it is, but it's not. Obeying God cannot be achieved by human efforts. It can only be perfected by God's anointing and help. Works are achieved by human efforts. God doesn't need our works, He needs our obedience.

"Imagine it this way--it's like the thing you did with Liam before. You skipped going to church to have an opportunity to 'evangelize' Liam--when God obviously wants you to go to church. See, wanting to evangelize someone may be good, but if it's not what God is commanding you to do at the moment, don't. Do what God wants."

I nodded. "So, it is possible to lose your salvation."

"Certainly. Real repentance and faith in Jesus comes with obedience. If you have been cleansed from sin, continue to do so through obedience. Salvation is a process and eternal life is the end result."

I smiled, pocketing Liam's letter.

"I definitely don't deserve God's goodness, but He deserves mine," I said. "I need to get to bed early for tomorrow's mission."

"That's a great idea, Charlie," the old man chuckled.

As I walked my way to my house, Grandpa Chuck called after me. I turned. I was only a few feet away from their porch.

"You know, about your eight-year-old brother," he said. "He's not in hell."

"What do you mean?" I asked as my heart leaped.

"God doesn't send kids to hell. Kids who can't know right from wrong yet. Kids who can't understand the gospel and law yet. So it's not just Liam."

My eyes stung. I thanked him and ran all the way home to my room, so Mom and Dad wouldn't see me crying.

But I thanked God a million times that night. And I couldn't wait to face tomorrow.

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