Who Am I? √

chapter 30

My friends had their parents worried sick about them, as much as they wanted to escort me and my siblings to the hospital where My dad or the man I thought was My dad was admitted,   I blatantly refused I almost got them killed once, If anything had happened to any of them I wouldn't have forgiven myself ever. 
After begging an officer he decided to give us a lift to the hospital,  given that we had no money on us.

I always hated the smell of hospitals right from when I was a kid.  Mom always held me down anytime I had to take injections.  I dearly yearned for my life back then, clueless and happy that's what I was. The only reason I still have part of my sanity is because I am hoping for a detailed explanation as to why my life was a lie. I held Jennys hand as we made our way to the receptionist with Liam trailing behind us.

"Good evening."

"Good evening, how may I help you?"  she smiled,  I guess its part of the job description

"We want to know what room Jack Bristol is in"

"wait let me check"

"Only family members can get to see him,  so are you family?"  I had no idea what I should say, was I really family?  is that what they considered me as?  their daughter? 

I hadnt realized that I hadn't said anything making her to take in  taking in my appearance, There was blood all over my clothing half of which wasnt mine.  I could feel the stinging of cuts round my forehead my wrists were bruised from the handcuffs I had on earlier, I could feel some pieces of glass lodged into the palm of my right hand,  other parts of my body also ached but the worst pain I felt was that of my heart,  I dont think it will ever heal unlike the rest.

"Yes we are"
Those are the words I wanted to say until I realized I hadn't been able to process it out of my mouth.  It was Liam who said it .

"Oh alright then, at the moment he is in the ICU, he just had surgery and no one is allowed to see him yet until the doctor gives the go ahead"

"You can stay in the waiting room,  a woman is also there who I presume to be his wife,  take the next turn to your left and then make a right"

"Oh and Miss,  you should really get those wounds of yours checked out,  they could get infected"

"call me Lindsay, and thankyou, I'll do that"

we nodded as we smiled at her and headed to the waiting room,  Mom had her face in her hands and I could see her body shaking which indicates she is crying.  I noticed she was no longer wearing the suit,  but was dressed in  plain black jeans and a crimson coloured top with fancy slippers,  she must have gone home to change.

Liam took the seat next to her while draping his arms around her shoulder, only then did she notice our presence. She began crying much more and I stood there watching her making no efforts to console her. Jenny, I'm sure felt the same way as I did because we were both just standing there staring into space.
I slowly backed up and hit a wall making me slide down to the floor, the tears I had been holding finally fell like a broken dam.  The people in the waiting room gave us sympathetic looks thinking it was just because we probably had someone in the ICU little did they know that they couldn't be farther from the truth.  Mom attempted to get up to make her way over to where Jenny and I sat,  but Jenny held out her hands and uttered the word

"Don't"

That phrase made Mom to sit back down, while excessively sobbing, at this moment I realized that there was more to her sobbing than I was thinking.

"How is he?", my voice coming out as a croaked sound

"After his surgery the Doctor said t-t-hat his chances of survival are not so high.  The first bullet wound was beginning to get infected, which started to spread very quickly although the bullet  on his leg was succefully removed"

"When are we going to get to see him?

"I dont know yet until the doct... " Mum was cut off when she saw one of doctors approaching,  she quickly ran to his side.

"Doctor, how is he?"

"We have managed to stablize him and he has been moved out of the ICU, he is now in room 206"

"But only one person can  go in at a time, he was sedated so he is sleeping and we wouldn't want anyone to disturb him"

The Doctor walked off, and I decided it was best I go and see Jack - My Dad- first.  My Mum wanted to be the one to go, but she decided to wait till I went in

Stepping into the room I could see an oxygen mask connected to his nose and other equipments, I was too exhausted to remember their names connected to him also.  He looked so frail,  that no one would ever believe that he was a trained assassin . There was a plastic chair beside his bed and I pulled it out and sat on it while watching him intently for minutes, trying to process the questions I had held for him all the while I found out the truth.

"Dad?" Ha I don't even know what to call you anymore" the tears had begun to fall from my eyes once more,  but I kept my voice firm wishing that he would hear me

"I always thought of you as my hero, but after all I know now,  I dont think I'll ever see you in the same light.  I know that you somewhat loved me but what I don't understand is why you kept me instead of killing me off with my real parents. My whole life was a lie and you yourself thought me never to tell lies. I remember how you scolded me when I was six for lieing to you when I said,  I didn't break the italian vase you and Mum supposedly bought on your way to Europe, I was so ashamed that I cried until you came to console me.
I talked proudly of you and held you in high moral standings even in school, not knowing that I was leaving with cold blooded killers,  I know your probably not hearing this and I'm rambling right here but know this Dad I will not love you like before anymore" I was observing him closely and I could see that  his right fingers moved,  telling me that he probably heard what I was saying, at that moment saw a tear slide down his eyes, I knew that if he was awake he would have looked for a way to make everything seem logical to me but not this time,  I wouldn't listen.
I gently stood up and exited the room.

I went back to the waiting room and Mom ran to his room,  she wasn't  out until half an hour later probably because she knew Jenny and Liam would love to see him also.  I sat there letting everything I had been through in the past month resurface, all the sleepless nights,  the killings,  the deaths,  the lies,  the mystery all that has finaly come to an end and I can say that this was officially the worst experience of the life.
Jenny and Liam went in together,  probably trying to save time so we could all go home and rest afterall we had our most dreaded interrogation sessions tomorrow.
Lex suddenly came into the waiting room and sat by my side, It had been a long ride for all of us, so we were all pretty wound up by the events. I looked over to her but she didnt say a word,  I couldn't imagine what she must have been feeling after giving up her daughter all those years ago all because she thought it would be best,  that goes to show no one was really expecting this.

Suddenly I saw nurses frantically start running around and the Doctor we had seen earlier was rushing towards a room,  not just any room the room that Dad was in,  Liam and Jenny came rushing out and I could tell that something wasn't right. Mom had tried to pry her way into the room but it was out of bounds for none medical staff,  I can't say what wrong because just some minutes ago, the doctor had said that Dad was recovering.

"Jenny,  Liam? "
"what happened?"

"I told her but she she she wouldn't listen"

"Told her wh...." I couldnt complete the sentence because I saw Mom and Lex nearly tackling the Doctor, something seemed odd about him he looked better when he told us Dad wasn't doing too well and now it was as if he was having an inner battle with himself"

"There will never be an easier way to say this, but he's gone."