18.We're All Mad Here

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I don't trust nobody and nobody trust me.
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The top and bottom row of teeth in my mouth grind together as I mull over my thoughts in darkness.

" Inappropriate interactions with a patient. "

What did that mean, inappropriate interactions? She has to be lying, just saying that to get under my skin because Jay could never. He would never.

"Excuse me Sheila, but ain't this supposed to be my shrink session, not yours?"

My head snaps up and I glare at the Australian man with his wrists locked to the table. In my panic I must have said all that out loud, mumbling it to myself where this vagrant was close enough to hear my every word. Good thing I said Jay and not his actual name cause then the doo doo would start to get real deep.

"You really want me to start picking your mind?" I ask hoping this will make him shut up I really didn't plan on actually peering into these filthy minds.

He doesn't answer, just gives me a grin that makes my skin itch as his eyes roam over me. It's not the average gaze of a man eyeball raping me, it's different, it's weird it's like he's seeing something else that interests him. And I really don't want to know about this Bastard sick fantasies or what he'd do to me given the chance.

" I gotta say you're the sexiest damn black Sheila I've seen in my life. "

"Excuse me? " I laugh taken by surprise.

"I'm just saying love, You don't look like what's her name? Aunt Jemima the one on the bottle? Thats what you yanks put on ya Pikelets? "

I scrunch my face at him to amazed by his way of talking to be offended. "Do you mean pancakes?!"

" Is that what ya coll em, eh? " He asks trying to scratch his shoulder with his beard.

"Are you trying to offend me?" I say, looking over his case file for the first time.

"Shouldn't you be in Central City, not Gotham? "I question, seeing that he's usually The Flashes problem. "What you and lightning rod have a lover quarrel? "

"I don't want to talk about him let's talk about me. I know you wanna know all about this mind."

I narrow my eyes at him, my nerves completely raw and open making it impossible to control my impulses or the desire to hurt people the way I hurt.

"Fine. " My voice slices through the concrete rooms cold air, a kind of bitterness in the time that I scarcely recognize it. It's like Harley woke some kind of monster inside that I didn't know was there. " You wanna talk? Let's talk. "

"Let's talk about how your mommy was a whore and got knocked up by some soldier from American soil who abandoned you both in a heartbeat. Let's talk about how you lived in a gutter of a town called Korumburra and how even there you were still the poorest kid on the block. "

George Harkness lowers his head so that a dark shadow casts over his eyes, I can see I'm getting to him by the way his jaw tightens and how he clenched his teeth. He's no longer amused or flirting because I'm digging up every painful memory from his past which is good because I want him to hurt. I want him to burn inside like I do.

"Or we could talk about how daddy went and gave his little mistake a job to make himself feel better even though he still didn't want you. We could talk about how the one damn thing you were good at didn't help you any cause no one wants to see some bearded drunk throwing a curved stick around. You're a joke, you're life is a joke and it's not even funny." I quip one last time as I stand turning to go through the door, not giving him even a backwards glance.

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