"They said I was nothing but a troublemaker never up to no good.
You were the perfect all American girl, wouldn't touch me even if you could."
×××××××
Never do you expect to find love. Especially when you aren't supposed to be around this person...
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Sin's POV "Mom!" I yell, walking into the house. Its freezing in here. I get to the kitchen, still unable to find my mom. Instead, my older sister, Danni, turn around and looks at me. I tense, leaning against the counter. "Have you seen mom?" "She just left for work. I'm just watching Moon," she says, gesturing it our moms cat. "I haven't seen you in a long time." "Who's fault is that?" Her jaw clenches. "I'm actually surprised you're talking to me. You know, cause you haven't sense I accidentally hurt your husband." "You killed him!" She yells at me. Although I am the 'annoying little brother' she's always been understanding of the things I do. "He was going to kill you!" I yell, tears escaping my eyes. Three years past and we still haven't moved pass this. "I would have been okay with that. He didn't deserve to die!" I run my fingers through my hair. "He abused you DAMNIT! Even now, he has left his mark on you. If he hasn't brainwashed you so much, you would never be saying what you are right now! What you had with him, wasn't love! He made you think you were in love with him! With all the years we've been surrounded by our parents, how could think that is love when you had the best example of it your whole life!" She shakes her head, glaring daggers at me. "I love you and want my big sister back. But if you can't see that I didn't mean to kill him and that he deserved it, then I don't want you back." She scuffs, crossing her arms. "Why is it every time I come in this living room, something is happening!? ALL I WANTED WAS SOME PEACEFUL READING TIME!" Timber yells. She walks up to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. "What happened?" She whispers. "Nothing," I force out. The sun is hot on my skin when I get outside, my chest rising and falling fast as I force tears back. Before I can get in the truck, Timber runs out. "You can't let her get to you," she tells me. "I try, but she pushes it and then I feel bad, because I know it isn't her fault. I don't know what's it's like to me be in a romantic abusive relationship with someone," I say, "but it annoys me." She gives me a sympathetic look. "It wasn't your fault and she's missing out. I like having you as a big brother." I give her a quick hug. "Well I'm gonna go call Lady to see how she's feeling now." "Was she sick?" I ask. "No, she said she was hurting and wanted to stay in bed instead of going out." I bite my tongue to stop from saying something I shouldn't. "I'll stop by there and check on her." ××××××× I climb through the window, hitting my head. Lady closes her window, turning the lights in her room off again. "What's with the lights?" "I've bad them off all day. If their suddenly on, my parents will come in," she says, sitting back down and wincing. "You feel okay?" "Very funny," she says. I lay down, grabbing her bee. She looks anxiously at it, then back at me. I hand it to her. "There has to be something about that bee. What is it?" I say. She looks down at it. "My dad gave it to me the night I told him about Will being abusive. He said that if I felt like I hated myself because of it, or wanted to hurt myself, or needed to good something when I'm hurt to use this. And I have ever since," she explains. "Do you think he loved you? At any point in the relationship?" She looks down at the bee, nodding. "I do think he did love at one point. The only reason I think that is cause right after he hit me for the first time, he couldn't stop crying or apologizing. And even when he did beat me, I still somehow loved him," she answers. I can tell that talking about this is making her feel uncomfortable. "Other than feeling sore, how do you feel?" I ask. She rests her head on my lap, closing her eyes. "Just very tired." Her eyes search mine. "I known what your thinking. I don't regret last night," she says. Leaning down, I kiss her softly. "I love you." "I love you," she says. "But I want sleep." Chuckling, I lay the rest of the way down and hold her. A small smile plays on her face. "What?" "Nothing." ×××××××× "No, I'm good," I say, waving off the bottle of alcohol Max tries to hand me. He throws his head back, groaning. "Getting drunk once won't ruin everything," he says. Dylan slaps him upside the head. "Anyways, I heard your sister is back in town. How's that going?" He asks. "Not so good," I reply. "Is she still hot?" He asks. I grab the bottle from him, knowing it will make him shut up. Tilting my head back and drinking the hard alcohol, he laughs. "There he is!" ××××××× "Hey there," a girl with heavy makeup says as she walks up to me. I look back at where people are dancing. "Don't remember me?" "No, I do. I just don't care," I say. She runs her hand up my arm, leaning in close. "I could always replace those memories with some new ones," she says, her lips brushing against the sensitive stop below my ear. I turn so she's presses against the wall, our lips almost touching. "Try with someone else," I say and back away. ×××××× "Why are you here?" I ask. Lady looks around, her expression confused. "You texted me to come over for an emergency," she says. I scratch the back of my neck, trying to remember sending that message. She holds her phone out to me, showing me the message. "Now I remember," I slur. She shakes her head at me. "You know what? I've realized now why your dad doesn't like me, cause I'm more attractive than him." "Are you drunk?" She asks, trying to hide a smile. "I'm not drunk...I don't think at least," I say, starting to cough. Taking her hand, I pull her down, her small body falling onto me. I laugh, playing with her hair. "You know your supposed to stay away from alcohol, Sin," she says. The smile she was trying to hide a minute ago, is completely gone now. "But it helped," I say, my brows drawing together. I look down at her hand that's in mine. I can't help but wonder what it would look like with an engagement ring on it. "Helped with what?" She asks, turning so she's laying on her stomach. The only thing keeping her on the couch is me holding her, but I'm okay with that because I'm very happy with where my hand is. "Thinking so much," I tell her. Okay yeah, I'm drunk. Sober me would never talk about this to anyone, even her. "My sister hates me cause I killed her husband, I have mental issues because of some sick women who raped me, my sister is upset with me cause I started fighting again, and I'm constantly waiting for you to leave me." She strokes my stubbled cheek with her thumb. "I will never leave you just because of things that have happened in the past. As for your Danni being upset with you, she's the one in the wrong, but you have to understand that it's hard to get out of the mindset you were in when all that was happening. When Will 'talks' to me, some of the things he says affect me just like they did when everything was okay. And Timber is just worried about you; you have no idea how many nights I've spent on the phone with her, cause she's crying because she's worried that you'll get hurt. And everyone has mental issues, some more than others, but you're not alone." Years brim my eyes. "That's it though. I'm a problem, I always have been for everyone. And I feel guilty for dragging you into this relationship when I'm so damn screwed up. You're perfect, smart, beautiful, just everything any guy or girl could want, and then there's me. I've slept with half this damn town, I drink my problems away, I beat people up as a distraction, and I'm not good enough." "Your more than I deserve, Sin. I don't care how many girls you've slept with as long as its just me now. I don't care that you have a drinking problem as long as you get help; and I don't care what you do as a distraction as long as it helps." I stare into her eyes, realizing that somehow what she's saying is her truth. I've always felt like a burden and mistake until right now. Maybe its just the alcohol, but its how I feel. If I was sober, there's no way in hell I would be thinking like this. "Thank you," I mumble. "For what?" "Falling for me." She kisses my cheek. "Promise me something." "What?" She's smiling, but I can tell she's nervous. "Promise me you'll love me as long as you can." She brushes my hair off my forehead. I need to get it cut. "And we'll be the greatest love story this town seen." "I promise," she says. I kiss her softly. She pulls back with a cringe. "You taste like alcohol. Let's get you showered." I get up with her, stripping off my shirt. "Will you be joining?" I ask. "I will be sitting on the counter if you need help since you look like your about to pass out." "Your no fun." Chuckling, she grab my hand and pulls me to the bathroom. I take off my clothes, and look at her. She raises her brows at me. "What? Its cold." I get in the shower, letting the water relax me. "You can look you know." "I'm good, but thanks," she says. I'm happy she feels more comfortable around me now, and letting me see her real personality. It took a while, but patients is key. "That's body wash," she tells me. "What?" She jumps off the counter, lifting the sleeves of her shirt and getting the shampoo. "Bend," she orders. I do as told. She massages her fingers through my hair, getting the shampoo in there. "Close your eyes when washing it out." Two months ago, I never would have thought I would be like this with her or anyone for that matter and not be thinking about sex. Okay, I am thinking about sex, but its not the only think on my mind. "Which one is the conditioner?" I ask. She removes her clothes, only wearing her undergarments and gets in with me, adjusting the water. "Your wearing-" "There's no way I'm being naked with you right now," she says, cutting me off. She helps me with the conditioner. I almost fall asleep at the feeling of her fingers running through my wet hair. After she turns the water off, she tells me to sit down and wait for her. She comes back in wearing nothing but one of my shirts and something for me to wear. I try stepping through the boxers, but almost fall. She grabs my arm and makes me sit again, helping me get dressed. "Can you walk?" She asks. I shake my head. She grabs my hand and helps me to the bedroom and covers me with the blanket. She gets on her side, closing her eyes, her lips moving as she whispers something. "What are you doing?" "Praying," she answers. I look up at the ceiling, suddenly interested in all the bumps it has. "You think fish can see water, if we can't see air?" I ask. She turns her head and looks at me with a thoughtful expression. "I don't think so. Get some sleep." I go to turn my back to her, but she takes hold my wrist. "Hold me." She cuddles against my chest, holding me by my waist. Its not going to be a good morning.
