Nerd Undercover

Chapter 3

The next morning i hear my alarm clock going off with that annoying ass sound. Flopping my hand over the edge of the bed i immediatley feel pain. Ugh i hate the days after fights. After i turn off the alarm i slowly sit up in my bed. It's 6:30 and i have to leave this house by 7:00

My whole body is aching and my muscles are clenching. My face feels stiff and i can feel my body throbbing. Reluctantly i turn myself and fling my legs over the edge of the bed. Yeah today is a sweats kinda day definitley.

I stand up off the bed and walk to my closet. Picking out a fair pair of black sweatpants and a ms walk tshirt i walk to the bathroom. When i see myself in the mirror it is not a huge surprise. Right underneath my eye there is a huge purple and blue spot, my lips is cut, and there is a slight bruise on my forehead. Nothing makeup couldnt cover up.

Turning on the shower i wait for it to heat up. I step in when i feel that it is the right temperature for me. I let the warm water wash away all the dirty from last night and i wash my hair. When im done with my shower i step out and dry myself off. I put on my sweats. Now the makeup parts.

I take out my collecting of foundation that is many different shades. This is so it can blend in with my skin but also look like im not even wearing foundation. It's confusing but it works. Covering up all the bruises and putting my hair in a messy bun i walk out of my room.

My mom is always out of the house by 6:15 so i dont have to worry about her. I never even see her face anymore. It's sad. Ever since Dad died she has been different. And dont give me the shit like 'well obviously she is gonna be different her husband died' yeah well no that's not what im talking about. She is different because she has stopped talking to me, stopped bothering to ask if i have my homework completed, stopped worrying about where by whereabouts are, she just stopped everything. 

Yeah occassionally if i happen to run into her she will give me the occassional 'hey sweetie' but i know that deep down inside she would rather not talk to me. I tried to get her to talk to me one night but all she kept saying was 'Riley im fine', 'Riley you have nothing to worry about' 'Sorry Riley i promise to get better'. That one was an obvious lie. 

But honestly at this point. I dont even care. I can handle myself. Always have, always will. Gathering up my backpack and the bagel i made myself i head out the door at just the right time. I get into my Honda Civic. I hate using cars. I wish i can just be able to ride my motorcycle to school and not give two shits about it. But no, i cant do that. And i wont.

As im driving i think. I dont have to do this. I dont have to pretend to be a nerd. The next day i could come to school with the clothes i actually like, the vehicle im destined to drive, the attitude that i really endure. But i cant. Reason #1 my mother would kill me. Even though she doesnt talk to me or acknoledge me, the second i do that she will being to notice me. And that's not what i want. It's easier that she doesnt care where i am so i can sneak out. It's easier have her not question why im always up so late at night.

Reason #2 it would draw attention to me. If the whole school and town knew that i was some kind of badass girl it would point them in the direction that im Razor. The police would find out and i would be stuck in prison. Even though im actually doing them favors..those ungratful bastards.

Reason #3 its just easier. Easy to have to contain my real angry emotions? No. But as i said it's easier being the quiet kid that no one knows about so it doesnt draw attention to me. It would be way harder to keep my identity if i had people surrounding me, asking me questions, asking me to hang out and have sleepovers at night when i would have to make up some excuse cause i would have to be on the streets.

So yeah.

By the time im done thinking i realize how stupid of me it was to even think that i could show up to school as my real self. It insane.