Raindrop

Ch. 23 Not Worthy

Clay's POV

Her house looked empty. Her dad's car was there, but the cop car wasn't. He was starting to get on my nerves that's for sure. He is to blame for Amara's current mood. She had been quiet the whole ride home. Never really saying a word and starring out the window.

I know she wasn't thinking about anything else but what her father was going to tell her. Or maybe she was car sick and I was over thinking things.

I put my hand on her thigh getting her attention. "We're here." I said. She merely blinked but otherwise didn't move.

I got off the car getting her wheelchair. I set it up and opened the door to help her out. I took her inside and then came back to the car for her bag. When I got in the house she was gone. I had left her in the living room. I closed the door and made my way to her room.

"You wanna stay for a while?" She asked.

"Um, sure." I said as I watched her stand and sit on her bed. I was impressed by her upper body strength. Her legs weren't really helping her although they did move.

"Come lay with me." She said.

I took off my shoes putting them next to her's. I laid next to her. We were facing each other yet she was looking down at the mattress space between us. She was lost in thought.

She blinked before her eyes met mine and she smiled. It wasn't big or real. . . And her quietness was getting to me.

What was she thinking about?

"Talk to me." I said. "You've been quiet long enough. Tell me what is circling your head."

She shrugged. "There is a lot. It's not you though. Not all of it."

"Not all of it? What do I have you thinking about?"

She stayed quiet. Her eyes wondering to the spot between us again. "Us." She whispered. "I love you, Clay. But I think I made a mistake."

I made her look me in the eyes. "How?"

"When my mom and brother passed away, I saw my dad cry. He's been through so much. You have your own battles going on. And I wouldn't want to see you be depressed for losing your son's custody. Because seeing my father, I know that losing a child is the hardest thing that can happen to you. And losing the person you love is so sad, but you'll be able to find a new love. I don't want you to feel like my dad did. You'll lose me eventually... don't lose him."

"Wow, you've really been thinking haven't you?"

"Maybe a little too much..." She said.

"Well stop. I know you're worried about me, but you have to stop it. I decided to go to San Francisco because I had so much on my mind as well. You were right, I needed a vacation. And I think your brain can use another one."

"I have something else stuck in my head, but I have been to scared to ask you." She said.

"Well now you have to tell me." I said.

"Remember the day we were at Amelia's and there was a storm..."

Of course I remember. "Yes."

"We left the game room and locked ourselves in a room." She said.

"Yes..." I was worried about what she was going to say next. She wouldn't bring that up for no reason.

"Did you want to do anything else than make out? Did you want to go further than that?" She asked her eyes not looking at me again.

Oh shit. How do I answer that? I can hurt her feeling or make her think things she shouldn't.

"Clay?"