Chapter 7 Megan
The day passes quickly and Jake is in 2 of my classes. He is really the only one that I enjoyed talking to today. Some kids came up to me and introduced themselves, but I quickly forgot their names and no one left an impression like Jake did.
As I walk home it starts to rain. As I walk up the drive way I stop and just stand there for a minute. I love the feeling of the rain on my face. There is something so pure about rain that makes it irresistible.
I walk inside before I get to wet.
"I can't do it! Mom! Can you hear me, Do you understand I can't do it!" Yells Axle.
I run as fast as I can to her.
"Axle it's me! Megan! Open the door!" I yell as I pound on her door.
Axle has had severe depression since she was in 7th grade. She has to see a therapist twice a week and has been on medication for 7 months. She is now in 10th grade and doesn't seem to be getting any better.
I can hear her sobbing on the other side of the door. My heart is racing and I feel tears escape my eyes.
"Axle open the door!" I yell again, begging her.
"I can't move!" She yells back me.
"Megan please..." She begs me to help her.
"Axle I can't help you unless you open the door." I start praying that God will give her the strength to get up and open the door. That he can help me, help her.
"Axle.." I call again.
My body starts shaking and I know that if she doesn't open the door soon I'm going to fall to the ground.
"Megan.." She cries.
"I'm right here, Axle. Just open the door, Hun."
I don't hear a sound from the other side of the door. Did she cut to deep this time? Is she gone? She can't be gone. I start pounding on the door as hard and as fast as I can desperate to get to her. To find her alive. I'm crying harder than I thought was ever possible.
"Axle!" I yell again
I hear her fiddle with the lock. She opens the door and her face is stained with tears her eyes are puffy and red. I grab her into a hug. Breathing in relief that she is still here. Crying because I know she is hurt. She is hurting inside.
"Where is mom?" I cry into her hair.
"I... dont.. know." She manages to breathe out.
I glance behind her and notice a razor blade with fresh blood on it. I grab her left arm and find nothing. Quickly I examine her right arm. It is filled with cuts up all along her forearm.
My cries become helpless and stronger. I feel my legs begin to shake as I think of how long it must have taken her to make all these marks.
"How long have you been home?" I ask her.
"I skipped after 3rd period..." She stutters.
I move her to her bed and we sit there. Why does she do this? I can't imagine what would cause her so much pain where she feels the need to hurt herself.
"Come on," I tell her as I get off the bed.
She is still crying, but let's me drag her to the kitchen. I hold her arm over the sink as I grab a wash clothe from the bottom of the cabinets. I run it under cold water and then place it on her wrist.
"Hold that there," She cringes away from the touch of the clothe on her arm.
From a shelf above the stove I get band aids.
When she is all patched up I bring her back down the hall to her room.
"Do you want to talk about?" I ask her.
Axle nods her head. "I feel like I'm drowning, I want to lay in bed all day and cry forever. I don't ever want to die or live a life. Megs, do you know how hard it is to not want to be happy?"
I don't know what to tell her. So I just shake my head.
"Hon, I'm sorry. I don't know what it feels like. Can you try to explain it to me?"
YOU ARE READING
Scars
Random"I can't do it! Mom! Can you hear me, Do you understand I can't do it!" Yells Axle. I run as fast as I can to her. "Axle it's me! Megan! Open the door!" I yell as I pound on her door. I don't hear a sound from the other side of the door. Did she c...
