Anastasia

Disneyland

2 days after they met

"You dont do this often do you?"

"Do what?" he spoke with his mouth full of the hamburger he was devouring.

"Go on a date." she shook her head laughing at the site before her. He was entertaining to watch, he wasnt really doing anything, but she just found it refreshing how amusingly childish he was, he also looked high out of his mind and was eating the hamburger like an animal, but she found it amusing how much he didnt give a shit about his surroundings. 

"Oh, yeah," he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and offered her the half-eaten hamburger, "wanna bite?"

"No thanks," she chuckled lifting up her cigarette, "I'm good."

"You ever been to Disneyland?"

Why was he so stupidly random? She scrunched her eyebrows, "No,"

"You wanna go?" he gave her a smile.

"Sure?"

"Why are you questioning me?"

"Cause, I dunno, thats just a random question to ask?" she shrugged.

"I just wanted to make sure you were cool with it cause I already got tickets." he pulled out the two tickets from his jean pocket.

"Are you serious?"

"What? I dont look like a serious guy to you? he laughed, "Wait," he held up his finger, "actually, dont answer that." he furrowed his eyebrows, automatically knowing what she would have said to that question.

"Was this your whole plan?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "And you were sitting there and weirded out thinking I had no plan for this date. I'm full of surprises you know." he lifted his eyebrow up, sat up straight and put his arm around the chair next to him.

"Okay, just don't be full of too many surprises." she rolled her eyes and leaned over the table to kiss him.

--

"Come on! Lemme take a picture with you with Snow White!" he pulled her towards the woman that was dressed up.

"No,"

"Just one picture! Ma'am, this here is your biggest fan ever." he pushed her towards snow white and took out his Polaroid camera, "Say 'I hate you Slash"

She stuck up her middle finger for the picture while being awkwardly hugged by the woman next to her, "Sorry, about my friend. He's a bit, slow." she tapped on her head.

"Oh, honey, all men are. I need a fucking cigarette." Snow White sighed and went off towards the next person in line for a photo. Ana stared off at Snow White in disbelief at what she had just said.

"You look, just..adorable in this picture." Slash ran over shaking the picture in his hand.

"I dont think Snow White is happy here."

"Fuck, who would be, it probably sucks working here."

"Then why did you bring me?"

"Cause I knew you'd hate it and that would have involved us having angry sex behind Its A Small World." he stated matter of factly.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Wow," she sighed, "Its astonishing how well you've come to know me in only two days."

"What can I say? I'm a people person."

"Sure," she rolled her eyes, "Now shut the fuck up and let's go find where this tiny small world is."

"Its actually 'Its a Small World' there is not the word 'tiny' in it."

"Keep talking and I'm not gonna have sex with you. You did this the last time. You talked too much and I ended up having to put something over your mouth."

"Kinky." he smirked.

"Shut up." she laughed dragging him along the crowded street of people.

--

"Oh my god." she sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "I cant believe we just did that."

"I told you no one ever goes on this ride, like ever. They're too afraid of the little statute people, things." he pushed one that was next to him, "So," he leaned over next to her, "How was the date?"

"It'd be better if we got cotton candy." she shrugged.

"I cant win with you can I?" he sighed.

She shrugged again and put her pants back on, "I've never been to Disneyland, " she kneeled in front of him, inches away from his face, "it was amazing." she pecked his lips.

He gave her a crooked smile and stood up, "But it'd be better with cotton candy?"

"Everything's better with cotton candy." she shrugged and threw him his shirt. 

--

His kids loved Disneyland, he hated it now, but still took them there almost every weekend. They had grown up now and even though he had hated the place his kids were an excuse for him to go there himself and give into his nostalgia. 

One thing about grieving is people expected you to move on and talk about something else, especially when years have passed.

They look down at you when you tried to talk about the loss of loved ones. They question your inability to move on with your life. They stop censoring their opinions about how you should lead your life from now on. He had gotten over that facade years ago, but that didn't mean that grief had suddenly vanished from his life. It came in small dosages, the unrelenting torment of remembering tiny, yet important, details of her. Like when he would have coffee, the trips to Disneyland, seeing an old busted up Honda like the one she used to drive, the sound of classical music, the scratching of a record player, the smell of red wine...it would always come and go and for a few seconds he would hold his breath and swallow his memories down. He was, in a way, living for her. Living a life she had fantasized about with him, with his kids, his home...it tortured him sometimes, but in all honesty, after 20 years from her death, the memory of her and their life together seemed like a distant dream. He didn't expect anyone to understand that not his family, not Lara, not Duff, no one really come to think of it... the worst part of it all was sometimes he had to remind himself that she was dead and not just gone. The initial stages of grief seem to be the worst.There's no quick fix for grief. No shortcuts, no easy answers, no way to erase it. Only time can do that, and even then, just barely.But in some ways, it's sadder as time goes by and you consider how much they've missed in your life. In the world.

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Hey guys! Hope everyone is enjoying the story and sorry if its a bit depressing, I know the subject of it is a bit touchy...I would still love to hear feedback from you guys however on how well the story is going so far and what you guys would want to read in the future chapters of it! There arent many chapters left just a heads up lol so I would love to incorporate some of your guys' ideas too into the mix! 

Lots of Love! -Z