Sherlock Imagines and Preferences 2

As Well As It Could Be

Requested by DepressionattheProm

I hope I created something worthwhile and something nice to remember your friend by. It was really hard for me to write this and I am terrified as I post it since I know how much this means to you. 

I can't even begin to imagine what kind of pain you are experiencing. The loss of a dear friend is an awful thing to experience. 

I hope I manage to take your mind off of it for just a moment and create some hope for the future. I wish you all the best, my love. 

I'm here if you need to talk to me. And thank you for trusting me, above all others, to write this oneshot for you that is so close to your heart.

<♥>

Big, blue and grey eyes. Oh, how you missed them. 

There weren't words to describe the aching pain in your chest. The suffocating loneliness, the blinding sadness. 

But it wasn't just sadness. That didn't even come remotely close to how you felt. Overwhelming pain, sorrow and grief. And all it left was a sense of emptiness, as if there was nothing there inside of you anymore. 

Her smile. How it could light up an entire room and make everyone happy for just a moment. Such a beautiful thing, such an amazing, admirable thing. But gone. 

She had been whisked away from life way before her time. She wasn't ready yet and neither were you. Your best friend. The one who had always been there when no one else was. The one who pulled you up from your darkest pits and made everything seem so much brighter. 

Rachel. 

There was no other like her. A magnificent soul with the kindest heart anyone had ever seen. Seemingly so black and white, yet a burst of colour and sunshine to you. She was your whole world. 

Time and time again, when you needed her, she was there. Doing anything she could to soften every bit of pain you felt. Whether it was as simple as a papercut from that blasted new notebook with edges that were way too sharp to be safe or whether it was something deeper, something emotional and torturous. 

It didn't matter how bad it was, how much it hurt, with her presence, her simply being the ray of sunshine she always was, she cleared the fog in your mind and created a sincere smile on your lips. 

Happiness, you felt it whenever she was around. But now she wasn't and she would never be again. Just a pale ghost following you wherever you went, an empty spot of nothingness. 

Was she there? Or was she completely gone? 

You desperately clung onto anything that indicated her presence, a heinous desire to touch her, feel her, hear her. You wanted her back in your life. You wanted to embrace her after a while of not seeing her, watch films with her every Sunday night, discuss the latest celebrity gossip and drool over as many fictional characters as you could. 

It didn't feel right doing those things by yourself. Hell, nothing felt right anymore now that she was gone. 

Life had turned into death. 

You were breathing, talking, moving, but you didn't feel alive anymore. It was like you died with her. As if the second her soul left her body, you went along with her, holding her hand and guiding her through her final journey.