Sherlock Imagines and Preferences 2

In The Moonlight

Here it is! The first imagine of this book and the one to prepare you for the many more to come! I sincerely hope you all enjoy this part and welcome to the new book! Thank you for joining me, everyone!

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It was eerily quiet, an unusual scene in one of the busiest cities in the world. The streets were abandoned, enveloped in a soft and pale light. People were mourning, silence drowning out every other noise. 

Two years it had been. The longest two years of your life. Crawling forwards, dragging you along and giving you no time to breathe. You felt trapped and alone. You craved an escape, just one second to stop and exhale. It was like your lungs were stuck on the single second that had changed your life completely. 

Two miserable years. And it still hurt. 

They say time heals all wounds but so far, you hadn't noticed any of it. You wanted him. You needed him but he was no longer there. He was gone, off to a better place. A place where you could not go. You wanted to but you were afraid. 

Giving up would feel like disappointing the man you valued. He had always been so proud of you and adamant that you'd use your talents and not let them go to waste. But that was exactly what he had done! 

He had given up, his skills and talents lost forever. The second his feet let go of that edge, when he breathed his last breath, he contradicted the wish he had for you. It haunted your dreams, it angered you. He had been so selfish, so hypocritical! He had left you.

A sigh escaped your lips. It wasn't his fault. You should've noticed. You should've realised something wasn't right. You had underestimated the power of depression. But not anymore. 

You were dancing on the edge yourself now and you realised how Sherlock must've felt in order to do what he did. He was so good at hiding his emotions, you hadn't seen a thing. It was like there had never been any depression inside his brilliant mind. But there had to be! Why would someone, with so much talent and potential waste it all and kill himself if he hadn't been struggling with a mental condition? There was no way! 

Guilt rose in your chest, suffocating you. A strangled sob echoed through the night as you broke down. You collapsed onto the nearest bench and buried your face in your gloved hands. You missed him. You missed him so much. Every fibre in your body craved to see him, feel him and hear him just one last time. 

He had been gone so suddenly. It had left you no time to say goodbye or express your gratitude. You owed him so much and now, you could never tell him or show him just how thankful you were. It killed you. 

Not once had the grief, the sadness and pain subsided in the two years since his death. You couldn't forgive yourself. You tried to so many times, in good ways and revolting ways. You had attempted to shove the blame on him just so you could cope with the pain, you had tried to harm yourself, harm others, therapy, you had tried it all. And nothing helped. The pain would forever be a burden you'd have to carry. The love of your life was dead and there was no way for him to return. 

You were all alone now, completely isolated from the rest of the world and no one seemed to care. It was just you. Little old (Y/N) stuck in her own grieving mind with nowhere to turn to. You were trapped. And the one person who had always managed to free you from your own thoughts, your own destructive brain, was gone.

As you sat on the wooden bench covered in chewed gum, you revealed your face from behind your hands and looked up at the black sky littered in small lights. 

The moonlight reflected on your tear-stained face as your lips trembled. ''Please,'' you choked, ''if you're there, if you're watching me then please, Sherlock, come back. I can't do this anymore, I need you here, next to me like the old days. I miss you.'' Your voice broke as you made your confession and new, fresh tears trickled down your face. You inhaled sharply, trying so hard to breathe and calm yourself.