Ohana

Addiction

I stare at my dresser, pacing the room, stress consuming my body.

I'm going to lose my mind, and when Spencer finds out, he will, too.

I shake my head to myself, sighing.

Spencer is at work, Eloise is at Noah's to have a play date with Emma, and it's just me and the boys home.

I want to call Spencer crying, but I can't.

I can't because he's going to kill me.

Last time, he was disgusted.

I'm not sure what to do.

I shake my head, walking into the living room where the boys are watching a Drake & Josh marathon.

Spencer is home now.

When my eyes land on him, normally, I'd smile, but instead I swallow and move to look at the television.

"Hey Jules." He smiles when he sees me, getting up to kiss me.

I accept his kiss.

"Hi." I say quietly. His eyes study mine for a moment, and then he just sits back down.

I need to try to make my expression unreadable but after being married for almost twelve and a half years and with him even longer, he can see right through it.

He knows something is bothering me.

I look at the time.

5:52PM

"Where's Ellie?" Spencer asks.

"At Noah's." I say. "She's having a play date with Emma."

He nods to himself.

"Mum, I'm hungry." Luca says.

"Can we have pizza?" Declan asks.

I look at my sons.

"Is Ellie going to be home for dinner?" Spencer asks. I shrug.

We were in Australia for three weeks, until July 24th.

The 22nd was Declan's birthday. He's twelve now.

It's August 1st.

Spencer's parents and my Dad are back in New York and we're just returning to our lives.

"Juliet." My eyes lock onto my husbands, snapping out of my hazy state.

"Yes?"

His forehead creases.

"I asked if Ellie is going to be home for dinner." He says.

"Oh, uh, no, I-no, we're picking her up at eight."

He nods.

"Okay. Should we get pizza?"

"Yeah, um, yeah, sure."

I get the menu from the kitchen and go hand it to him. He and the boys decide what they want and he dials and orders.

I need to talk about my issues.

After Spencer orders, he hangs up.

He stands up, walking to the kitchen, pulling me with him. He puts the menu back on the fridge, holding it in place with a magnet of a dog, and then he turns to me.

"What's wrong?" He asks. I shake my head. "Jules, I can see right through that." He says patiently.

"I don't want to talk about it." I say. I take a deep breath. "I'm going to Kendall's."