Ohana

What happened to us?

Paranoia is one of the worst things a person can have.

Unfortunately, I'm great at having it.

As I sit on the couch, staring at my cup of coffee, I can't help but replay the night before last in my head, when Spencer told me he would file for divorce had I not stopped smoking.

I understood him wanting me to stop, but he was willing to throw our life together away so easily.

I don't understand it.

I've been thinking on this for a couple of hours.

Yesterday in the bakery, we seemed like the perfect family. Four beautiful children, well dressed parents...

We joked and laughed and went to dinner afterward with the kids and continued joking and laughing. The kids dropped the divorce thing when they saw how Spencer and I were acting.

But the moment we were alone, the air was tense, and usually I'd fall asleep against him, but last night I lay on the edge, and he lay on the other edge, and we didn't touch.

We didn't touch once.

Part of me wishes Spencer had to work today so I didn't have to act around him.

Why do I have to act around Spencer.

He was my Romeo, after all.

Did having kids make me too uptight? Is that why I wanted to smoke?

Is he bored of me? I flipped when he let Declan drive. I have been uptight for so long, and I can't remember the last time Spencer and I had the house to ourselves.

What if Spencer was bored of me? Did he mention divorce because he's bored of me? That would make sense. He would leave me because I bored him, and he would find a hot supermodel who didn't push out four kids, but could be the perfect makeshift Mum for our kids, and he would call her Juliet and she would call him Romeo and they would sail off into the sun, and I'd be alone, probably find another guy like Asher, and when my kids hit the age of twelve, they choose to live with Spencer full time from how much they hate their step father, and while my ex husband is sailing off into the sunset with his makeshift Juliet, I'd be home cleaning dog vomit off the floor.

The sound of something shattering grabs my attention, and something warm covered lay legs, and a searing pain registers in my hand.

I look down, numb.

"Whoa." Declan says. "Are you okay?" He asks me.

I have blood gushing from my hand, dripping onto the tile floor.

God, that's a lot of blood.

"Dad!" Declan yells. "Hurry!"

I stand up slowly, looking down at my hand.

God, that is really a lot of blood.

I move out of the way to make sure I don't get any on the couch, stepping in glass.

I guess I was gripping my mug too tightly.

I ignore the pain thought, because Spencer didn't touch me when we slept last night and now I'm convinced he's cheating on me.

Spencer walks into the living room, and he's talking to, but I can't hear him.

He's cheating on me. I just know it.

"I...have to go to work." I say, confused.

He's still talking, but his words are bouncing off of my ears.

I wonder what the girls name is? Does she like kids? What if she doesn't like my kids? What if she has fake breasts? What if-

"Audrey!" Spencer says, shaking my shoulders. I lift my eyes to his face.