Dead Love

Chapter Twenty-One: Abortion

Chapter Twenty-One

Lizzie

I feel new. I feel special. I don't feel like a waste. It's been a day since I saw the sonogram. I missed my period. It's really happening.

I am lying on my bed. The covers are warm against my cold body. I have to make these nine months count. They may be my last . . .

My door opens and Rick walks in. I sit up. I am wearing new clothes that my uncle provided; I tight red v-neck with jeans.

"Hey, do you want some thing to drink? Or to eat?" He asks me.

"No, thank you, I'm fine." I say.

He looks disappointed and nods. He closes the door behind him when he walks out. I think he is warming up to me now that I am carrying his grandchild. Or grandchildren. No, there is only one. Devin told me that I would be able to know the sex in about three or four months. I want a girl. I don't know what Carl wants. I haven't really talked to him since the sonogram.

I stand up and walk around the room. It is a good sized room. The bed is up against the wall and two tables are on both sides. A window is on the left side, where the door is. A closet is placed opposite of the window and door. A six foot mirror is on the right side of the room to the door. I walk up to the mirror and look at myself. My shirt makes my chest pop out and my jeans make me look tired. There are bags under my eyes. I turn to the side and evaluate my stomach. It's not big at all. There is a very small pudge of fat on my lower stomach, where the baby is. I'm scared.

I walk out of the room to the balcony, it is placed right out side of my room. I look down and see people walking and talking and laughing. As I stare farther down my head begins to spin. My stomach turns and I run to the bathroom. I make it to a stall and throw up in the toilet. I need to stop puking or I won't have enough food in my stomach to keep me and the baby going.

I walk to the dinning hall and see Gareth chatting with a man. Gareth looks at me and excuses himself from the conversation.

"What's wrong?" He asks when he is in front if me.

"I need more food. The food I eat now, I just throw it up." I tell him.

He frowns and walks into a pair of double doors. He comes back out with a glass of water. I said food.

"Here, drink some water until breakfast." He says and hands me the glass.

I look at the water inside. I see a tiny white dot. I shake the cup and the dot dissolves. Gareth gives me a worried look but covers it up with a smile. I smile back and walk out of the building. I sit by the front entrance where nobody is around. I just need to be alone for a few minutes. I stare at the glass and notice little white specks in the water. I don't think much of it and take a sip. The taste of nothing spreads through my mouth and soothes my dry throat. I look to my right and see Carl running towards me.

"Don't drink that!" He yells.

When he approaches me he takes the glass from my hand.

"What wrong with it?" I ask him.

"My dad. He put abortion pills in the water before Gareth gave you it to drink." He tells me.

I drank some. Maybe it's better if I just let it go through me. It was only a little. What bad could it do?

"Did you drink any?" He asks.

"No. Not at all." I lie.

The day goes on normally. I don't drink or eat anything, except for things Carl gives me. By the end of the day I feel exhausted. I didn't do much. All I did was wash clothes with Maggie and found new clothes from Terminus's makeshift department store. How it works is every time you help out around Terminus, you get a silver tablet. You go to the department store and can get anything you need, that is under your budget. I don't get why they don't use regular money.

I lie in my bed and wait for Carl to arrive. It is about twelve a.m. I should get some rest but I need to talk to Carl. I have to know how he feels about this. My eyes go dark and soon, I am in nothingness.

I wake up and see Carl lying in bed next to me. His eyes are closed and his chest rises and falls slowly. I sit up and a sun ray hits my eyes through a rip in the curtains. I walk out of the room and walk down the stairs to the bottom floor. People pass me by and look at me. I run. I run from my life. Well, I try. I run to the other side of Terminus. Tears stream down my face and the wind blows them in different directions.

I stop at the front of a building. I sob and sit down on the floor. I wish everything was as simple as it used to be. Living at the prison. I thought I was safe. Why did I kill Mika? I hate myself. I was so stupid. They're dead. They always have and they always will be. I look to my left and see a knife. I crawl to it and grip the handle. My fingers are sore and they sting as a hold it tighter. I place the knife to my stomach. The edge almost piercing my skin. I need it out. I can't do this.

"I'm sorry." I sob.

I am on my knees, a knife pointed to my stomach. I drop my head down and close my eyes, preparing for the piercing pain that will spread through me.

"Excuse me?" I hear a small female voice say.

I turn around and see a tiny little girl. Her dirty blond hair is put into a loose ponytail. She is wearing a wavy dress and closed toe shoes.

"Do you know where my mommy is?" She asks.

I see a tear fall from her eye.

"Um," I sob, "Go that way." I say and point to where everyone is. "She might be there."

"Okay." She says and walks in the direction I told her.

I sob even more. If I kill my child, that will be him or here when he or she is dead.

'Do you know where my mommy is?' Repeats in my head.

I drop the knife and cover my eyes with my hands as I cry my heart out.

"Why do you have to be so complicated?" I ask my child.

I laugh to myself and stand up. I wipe the tears from my eyes and walk back to the main entrance. I see two people I thought I would never see again standing at the main entrance. A man with matty brown hair and blue eyes and a young girl with blond hair and blue eyes. The man has a crossbow strapped to his back and the girl has a black trash bag in her hand.

"Welcome to Terminus. Let's get you settled in and I'll make you a plate." Mary says as she greets them.

Daryl and Beth walk up the stairs as they follow Mary. I run to them.

"Beth," I say,"Daryl."

They both turn and stare at me.

"Lizzie?" Beth asks.

I smile and so does she. She passes Mary and hugs me tightly.

"Where are all the others?" Daryl asks, his country accent still as strong as ever.

"We're all here." I say as Beth lets me go.

We're all here. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth.

Hey guys! Lizzie and Beth are reunited! Comment, share, vote, and follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and ask,fm. Thank you @CreatYourMind love you all!!!

-izzysam