demons | nash grier

chapter twenty-one | Nash's Letter

12/31/2014

i am sorry,

i can't do this anymore and i've been trying for ages now. i know tonight is my night and i'm sorry. for the guys, you guys are my best friends and i can only hope that you won't ever feel the way i've felt for the past year. don't rely on others for your happiness.

to my fans, i love you all to pieces. i'm sorry that i'm not strong like all of you. you do have a purpose. you are all great people and i could never thank you all enough for the support you've all been giving me since the beginning. beat your demons.

to my family, i love you all. i know you guys were trying to look out for me but i lost all desire to live. skylynn, your brother loves you :)

nash grier

- - -

nash

i was no longer alive; i could tell by the peaceful feeling around me. i looked at my arms to see nothing; no scars, just a clean canvas. where was i?

is this heaven?

i began to look around, seeing strangers all around me.

arianna.

i started looking around, realizing i was surrounded by people who were dead.

i'm dead, too. i did it.

i was in mooresville, that i knew. i headed in the direction of the park, seeing both people who were alive and people who weren't. there was a girl looking down, her ankles crossed over one another as she held the chains of the swing. she had brown hair that was going over her shoulders and covering her face. i saw only a little bit of her features and it was enough.

"arianna."

the girl looked up, her eyes widening.

"nash you don't belong here."

i ignored her, wrapping my arms around her. they didn't go through her body like those cliché ghost movies.

"i'm here, with you,"

"you don't belong here, nash, why did you do this?" she asked me, sounding angry and upset at the same time.

"you were my life. literally."

it was so strange because the living people around us couldn't see or hear us. they could walk right through or past us, but had no clue.

her eyes studied over me before a tear rolled down her cheek. she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, and i swear i felt butterflies. could i even feel anything without a heartbeat anymore?

"you're my soulmate, remember?" i chuckled, grabbing her hand and looking at the promise ring still on her finger. she laughed, tears streaming down her face.

"i was here with you the day of my funeral," she told me.

"really?"

she nodded, "i've been with you the whole time, babe,"

"i was trying to stop you," she continued when i didn't speak. it was crazy to hear her voice again because i thought i never would hear it again. it was crazy to see the color of her eyes, the glow of her skin..

"can we check on my family?" i asked. she nodded and we were at my house quicker than humanly possible.

they were reading over the letter again and again, sobbing uncontrollably. i saw my body lying on my bed and arianna squeezed my hand, turning away.

"nash you could've made it," she said knowingly, looking up at me.

"no, ari, you're wrong."

she looked confused.

"like you said, we all have our demons and sometimes? sometimes they win."