demons | nash grier

nash

another day of complete bullshit. i mean, my family is great. they love me and i know they would do everything and anything for me. i do have some friends. my life doesn't seem too shitty when you look at it from your perspective. it looks like i have it all figured out.

but at night, when i'm lying down in bed with nothing to do but think, think about my entire life up to this point... it hits me.

i jogged down the stairs, putting a jacket on on the way down.

"i'm going out for a walk!" i call out to whoever might be home.

what are those thoughts that hit me at night? the thoughts that make me think things about myself that i don't even want to mention?

constant hate from the entire world for one little thing i said.

one thing i didn't mean to say. i didn't mean it. it was a fucking joke, for crying out loud.

people at school, even some of my own fans had turned against me at this point. my phone buzzed in my hand, and i glanced to see matt's name on the screen. inunlocked my phone as i continued to walk, opening the text. it was a huge group text with all of the guys, but as of the last week or so, i hadn't sent a text at all.

everything felt so much worse this week. it was like a weight against my chest.

looking at my twitter mentions was hard.

looking at my vine comments was even harder.

matt: GUYS THERE's ONE MORE MONTH!
Cameron: (:
jack j: yo have any of you guys realized that nash hasn't texted in awhile?
matt: yeah where is nash
taylor: someone call him he might be dead or something lmao

i sighed. the thought of being dead didn't seem too bad. 

i knew i shouldn't shut out my best friends because of my problems. they're here for me, right? isn't that what the "that's what friends are for" saying is all about?

"i'm right here" i sent, putting my phone back into the pockets of my sweats. i looked up to figure out where i was, realizing i was a few blocks from home. the street lights then turned on, illuminating the sidewalks with an orange glow. it was starting to get dark, but i didn't mind. headlights started to become faint in the distance, the car speeding down the road. when it came into vision, i recognized it to be none other than my ex girlfriend's new guy.

fuckin' spectacular.

his tires screeched as he drifted over from one side of the road to the other. he stopped be me and i tossed my head back and groaned as he rolled down the window,  a smirk plastered on his dumb ass face.

"what's up, grier?" zach wrapped his arm around her as he spoke to me. i glanced into her eyes, but she looked down at her lap.

"just taking a walk." i replied with a tone of annoyance, shuddering a little due to the chill of the north carolina wind. even a jacket can't protect you from this shit.

"hey, cass, mind tossing this out?" he asked her, handing her something i couldn't make out.

"no problem babe!"

she tossed out the soda cup, clearly aiming directly towards me. the lid fell off with the contact, soda spilling on my arms and part of my legs. zach laughed and the tires screeched as he sped off down the street again. i stood in place for a few minutes before turning around on my heels to go back home.

why me?

- - -

i walked back into my house, going up the stairs as quickly as possible and shut myself in my room, locking the door and leaning against it. i decided to do the one thing i'm not absolutely horrible at – making vines.

[ AN: hi everyone! if this is your first time reading, you're lucky, because you're reading the new version! :)]

updated august 18th, 2019