The Way You Are (a ThatSoJack fanfiction)

Chapter 1

Eva Rose's P.O.V.

I woke up this morning dreading the day ahead of me. I have to go to school today. Ugh. It doesn't help that I have to get up at four a.m. to cook my father a "gourmet" breakfast. Oh well, I guess cooking is easier than other options.

I got up and went into the kitchen. I got out eggs, bacon, hash browns, and the stuff for pancake mix. While I mixed up the batter for the pancakes, I started cooking the eggs and bacon. I poured out the batter into a pan and let it cook for a couple minutes. While everything was cooking, I set the table, poured daddy's juice, and I got him some aspirin, knowing he would have a hangover.

When everything was almost done, I put the hash browns in the toaster oven. I heard his alarm go off and I quickly put everything onto the plate. Once all of daddy's food was done, I cleaned up the mess and made myself a piece of toast because he would yell at me if I ate 'his' food.

He said, "Evangeline, did you do something different to the food?" I hate how he called me by only the first part of my first name.

I replied with, "No daddy. I did exactly like every other day. Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. It sucks. It's normally bad, but today you've crossed the line with how bad it is!"

"I promise it won't happen again daddy. I will be more careful next time."

"Damn right you will! Now get over here!"

I slowly walked over towards him, afraid of what was going to happen. He then snapped at me to hurry up, so I did. When I got close enough to him, he slapped me twice. On the first one, he blamed me for my mother's death, and on the second one, he called me a worthless person.

Daddy then said, "Now get your sorry ass to your room and get ready for school. I'm not going to be home until around midnight tonight, so I expect all your homework done, the dishes washed, the bathrooms cleaned, the carpet vacuumed, and the laundry done. Okay?"

I nodded my head and mumbled a 'yes'.

"Did you hear me, Evangeline Rosalie Margaret Peterson? I asked you to do all of the chores. OKAY?" He used my full name. My first name, Evangeline Rosalie, my middle name, Margaret, AND my last name. He must really be mad.

"Yes daddy. Of course daddy."

I then went upstairs. I still had time before I needed to get ready, so I thought for a little while. The laundry and dishes are quick chores, and the bathroom and carpet take a little longer, but not too long. I think that I will have enough time to make a video tonight. Yay!

I get my inspiration for my YouTube videos from Zoella Sugg, Tanya Burr, and Louise Watson, AKA SprinkleOfGlitter. I also watch Christian Novelli's videos over and over again because they give me hope. I watch some other youtubers, like Thats0Jack, Dan Howell, Phil Lester, PJ Liguori, Chris Kendall, Marcus Butler and Alfie Deyes, but mostly Christian. I have also heard of this group, O2L, from the few fans that I have, who seems cool, but they don't seem like the people that I would enjoy watching.

What my father said about me before, I've started to believe him. That's because he's not the only one to tell me. All of the other girls at school have said worse. I went into my drawer, under the drawer liner, and got out my blade and only friend. I looked at it for a while, letting it glint in the light before I made the cuts. I then took it and pressed it against my skin. I sliced a small one for my dad blaming me for my mother's death. I made a slightly bigger one for being called worthless. I then made a deep gash down my whole forearm, enjoying the stinging sensation where the blade cut my skin. I looked in the mirror next. I made small cuts in my arm, one for everything I didn't like about myself.

My nose is too big *cut*

My face is too round *cut*

My ears are too small *cut*

My lips are too pink *cut*

My thighs are too fat *cut*

My stomach is too fat. I didn't make a cut for this one. Rather, I cleaned the cuts with rubbing alcohol because that stung more. In all, there were probably eight or nine new cuts on my arm. But instead of making cuts for being fat, I went to the shower and turned it on, then I went over to the toilet, kneeled down on the floor in front of it, and stuck two fingers up my throat to trigger my gag reflex. I pulled my fingers out of my mouth before I threw up, just in time. I did this twice more, flushing my system of anything I ate in the last 24 hours. When I was done with this, I turned off the shower, and brushed my teeth. When I finished brushing my teeth, I put on my gray ripped jeans and a long sleeved shirt with a hoodie over the top that says 'IDGAF'. I then put on some makeup to cover the already forming bruise that my dad left for me.

I peeked outside my door to check for my dad, and I also listened. I didn't hear or see anything, so I checked that I had my iPod (which my dad didn't know about because I bought it myself) and I made sure that my laptop was safely hidden under my mattress (dad didn't know about this either) and I checked that my camera was hidden in my closet (dad knew about this one. It was a gift from mom before she died). I then grabbed my pastel green and purple penny board and started on my way down the New York City streets towards school.