Short Sad Stories

Miracle

I need a miracle right now. I guess I know what's gonna happen... "Heh heh..." Tears ran down my face as I stared at the white tiled flooring. "My dad is going to die...And it's all my fault...Heh heh..." My laugh was purely on instinct. Ever since I was little, it was unnerving for others to be at a funeral with me. And that was because I had a tendency to laugh about sadness.

When I was sad, I was laughing while crying; smiling while wanting to die.

"It's all my fault..." A grin grew onto my face and I sobbed louder. I was never a lucky person. I used to say God hated me, but now I know. God doesn't hate me.

It despises me.

Anything I wanted to happen never came true. Anything I hoped would happen never did either. I lived half of my life with a huge grin, laughter bubbling out as tears stained my cheeks. If there is such a thing as 'God', then it obviously wished it never created me.

I have tried so many times to kill myself, and I can never succeed. Because God wants me to live out a painful, miserable life. God wants me to know that it controls my life. God wants me to be completely helpless when I die. God wants me to die, but only when I've found happiness.

So there I sat feeling emotionly drained, the cold flooring making me want to shiver. And I waited. For I knew what would happen next.

My tears had finally stopped but my grin never left. Suddenly, I heard a familiar flat-line. Tears welled up again as I leaned my head back against the cool wall and gently closed my eyes.

Doctors came rushing in and the sound of defibrillators filled the air. I can never understand...Why? Why do I never get the chance to do something about my life? But when I do, I'll be taken away from it...I truly need a miracle to save me...

Lesson~ Why does it feel like God likes to pick and choose who gets a great life and who has to live in fear that everything they touch will die? Because. Life will, sadly, never be fair. And if there is a God, it surely wants to send that message.