Letters from Shanti Ashram, India

2. Pujas & Daily Schedule

Pujas & Daily Schedule

August 13, 1994

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars. When I first came here to Shanti Ashram, I asked how mail would reach me. I got a typical Indian reply: “The postman will know you and he’ll bring it to your kutir!” (‘Kutir’ is the name a small house-cottage, of which there are many around here.) But, after a few days, on August 8th, I went to mail a letter to both of you and at the same time I told them my name and which kutir I was in. Lo and behold! After a few hours, the postman rode up on a bicycle (ring! ring! went his bicycle bell; whether there’s traffic or anyone to hear or not, the Indians have the habit of ringing their bike bells and vehicle horns constantly) – and he delivered three letters for me!

I am getting very special treatment here – maybe because I was sent by saint Swami Satchidananda (I got to lug a big bag of prasad that Swami Satchidananda sent, through me, to Jnaneswari here - I felt it a great privilege to carry the prasad from one saint to another; I felt like Hanuman helping Rama by carrying mountains!) – or maybe it is because I know Telugu, or maybe just because I am a foreigner! Indians seem to think it is a great thing for people to come from far countries and adopt the spiritual life here.

The only other foreigner here is Susheela (Polish but lived in France her whole life). She has picked up some words in Telugu but not the fine distinctions that make so much difference (like long and short vowels). Plus when she talks in Telugu, it is with a snappy and harsh sound. Poor thing – how can she help it? She learnt only by listening to the Telugu people. I think Swami is the only Telugu-speaking “person” who speaks softly and sweetly. Everyone else talks in a high, shrill voice or shouting. Even I could not help talking like that when I was with Venkamma, as everyone else did!

But now I am making concentrated effort to speak soft and low in Telugu. The other evening Jnaneswari told others, “Ah, she speaks Telugu so soft and sweetly!” That was a big surprise to me, because I hear myself as loud and harsh! Around the tiny-sized Indians, I often feel like a big monster hulk!

When I was in Anandashram I never talked with Swami Satchidananda so had very little contact with him, partly because I didn’t want to be told to go! But here, Jnaneswari is very affectionate to me, besides telling me several times, looking straight into my eyes with a caring expression, “This is your permanent spiritual home.” She also catches me or calls for me almost daily, to give fruit as prasad or just to ask how I am or if I need anything. She takes my chin in her hand and caresses my arm.

As for me, I tell her that this life is useless unless I can have moksha and know that God is everywhere and also beyond everything. She answers that it is not something to be gained because it is already with us – we are THAT now and here, all we have to do is recognize it – remember ourselves. Easy to say but hard to realize, I tell her! She seems to be so happy to see my earnestness.

On August 10th we started a puja here. This is because one young sanyasi here requested Jnaneswari for it to be done, for the benefit of aspirants. The sanyasi (Jeeyar Swami) is said to be spiritually advanced. He is 38 years old and has been here four years. He is an expert in ritualistic rites and so heads the pujas. The puja is to Lakshmi and Narayana, and will continue on for 40 days! Every morning we gather from 8-10 AM and again, 4-6 PM. In addition, Fridays are special to Lakshmi so we do extra puja, lasting 3 ½ or 4 hours.

I never have done puja, but Jnaneswari and others urged me to take part so I agreed, happy to have the experience (not without misgivings of my qualifications, being a mere ignorant foreigner in this birth).

About 12 of us gather daily. Each of us sits in front of a little wooden platform, on which is a picture of Lakshmi and Narayana. We each have our own puja plate, loaded with tiny vessels like lamp, small cup & spoon, arathi tray, incense stand, and kumkum, turmeric, sandalwood paste, flowers, tulasi leaves, etc.