XVI

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"Mum, I fucked up."

"Louis Tomlinson, what kind of language is that?" Jay snaps. Louis sighs and begins explaining; everything, right from the fateful day of their drunken sexcapade telling her how he thought that it would be his worst decision and how it turned out to be one of the best. He got to have Harry in a way that he had only experienced in dreams ("Louis, baby, I love you, but please spare your poor mother the details of your wet dreams.") He talks about how it only made him fall more in love with the boy. "I thought I would be over him once I had my fill, but fuck, mum, I, it's never enough, I can't get enough of him." He tells her how he promised himself to be so very careful with the boy, to never let anyone hurt him. Then he talks about how suddenly they just stopped one day, how he had no idea what was happening and how he thought he completely messed up and jumped to ridiculous conclusions. And finally, he tells her how he turned out to be right and now he's freaking out.

"Wait, what do you mean, you were right?"

"He's actually pregnant mum, and it's entirely my fault. He was just starting to get over his miscarriage and now I've gone and horribly messed things up for him. I don't know what to do." He sighs, sitting down on one of the park benches.

"What did you say to him, how is he dealing with all of this?"

"I told him I wanted to be a part of the kid's life. He seems calm but he claims to be losing his head, he's been sick for a few days now so I'm just like forcing him to sleep as much as I humanly can."

"What did Anne say?"

"I don't know if she knows yet. I think Harry wants to tell her in person. I mean, it's kind of a messy situation. I do know that he's not going to cut me out of the child's life, he's already agreed to stay for the duration of the pregnancy and to get joint custody if doing it together doesn't work out."

"Oh that's a good sign; this clearly shows that he's thinking clearly. He's dealing with it better than you're giving him credit for... but," she hesitates, "what are you going to do, Lou? You can't lead him on any longer. He'll catch up soon enough and he's going to be so hurt when he does. It was a bad idea to even get sexually involved with someone who isn't on the same page as you are."

"I know, mummy, I just can't understand what to do, I know I'll have to tell him soon now. I just need to wait for the right time."

"There is no right time, my silly boy. You just have to snatch the moment and make it right." She says softly. "I have to go, my beautiful boy, Doris is crying. Take care baby, mummy loves you so much."

Louis tears up and his voice catches in his throat. "I love you too mummy and I miss you so much. Take care of yourself." He whispers before hearing a hasty 'miss you too' and a telltale beep, signalling the call had ended. He slowly makes his way back to the office; his quick fifteen minute lunch had turned into almost an hour long call with his mother. Liam was being less pesky than usual, whether it was because of the bags under Louis' eyes, the sheer redness of said eyes or just how on edge he was all day, he didn't know and Louis didn't care to ask. Frankly, he could use both the space and the leniency.

Louis had only just reached the office when his phone rang again, Harry's name flashing across the screen making him sigh tiredly.

"Lou?" he sounds like death and Louis tells him just that. "I know, it's just, I couldn't sleep so I was thinking of going to visit my mum tomorrow and tell her everything and I just called to ask if you could please come with me because I don't think I can do it alone." He mumbles.

"Harry, are you sure that it's appropriate for me to be there?" Louis asks worriedly. "I mean, don't you think that this is a conversation that you and Anne need to have alone?"

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