Just Like Old Times: A Legend of Zelda AU

Back off Ruto

Oh dear Nayru. I turned him into a fish.

Well, screw this.

The cave was lined with glistening gemstones of every color, shape, and size. A small bubble of light floated over my head as we entered, illuminating the darkness.

"Whadda you know," I grumbled. "My magic actually does something useful."

Link whacked his tail against the bottle.

"What?" Sheik asked.

Link whacked the tail again.

"Is something wrong, Link?" Sheik asked again. Another tail whack.

I kept walking and soon entered the cavern. But instead of the Great Fairy, all I saw was a big fish dude and a smaller, thinner fish woman.

"Father! I'm almost of age to be married! I need to find a husband and soon!" The fish woman complained in a shrill voice.

The big dude sighed. "Ruto, I'm sorry, but unless you want to marry a Zora, I cannot help you. Leaving the Zora Domain is a bad idea."

I took a step backwards, accidentally stepping on a rock. Both Zoras turned and looked at me.

"Um, hi? I'm Zelda. My two companions and I are looking for the Great Fairy," I managed to stutter out.

Ruto raised an eyebrow. "Companions?"

I glanced back down the hallway where Sheik and Link were. "Guys," I called. "Come on."

Sheik nodded and walked towards me, Link whacking his tail on the bottle. Clearly he wasn't excited for this encounter.

The fat Zora shifted in his seat. "Lady Zelda, we have heard of you. Welcome to the Zora Domain. I am King Lister. This is my daughter, Princess Ruto. Where is your second companion? I see only one."

Sheik stepped forward. "I am Sheik." He held up the bottle. "And this is Link."

Ruto giggled. "For a fish he's pretty cute. But why bring a fish along on a quest to save the world? Kinda silly if you ask me."

"Thing is, Zelda's magic has been acting weird lately. Since it's tied to her emotions, it backfired and turned Link into a fish," Sheik explained.

Ruto frowned, then took the bottle from him and poured Link into a small pool. She pointed her finger at him, and he turned back into a human in a puff of smoke. Link sat up groggily, rubbing his head.

"Ow." His clothes immediately got wet.

Her jaw dropped. "Daddy, I want to marry him!" She exclaimed, wrapping her scaly arms around him.

"Marry me? What the- Zelda, what is going on?" Link looked confused. Really confused. Well, being a fish messed up his brain. He's going to be like this for a while.

"Ruto, back off. Um, Link, this is Princess Ruto and King Lister. They're, um, here to help us find the Great Fairy." I tried to simplify things for him, but he still looked confused.

Why won't he snap out of it?! Argh! Zelda! Be careful! You just used magic on him again! Sure enough, Link was nodding his head in understanding now.

"Ruto, dear, please let go of him," King Lister said.

She held fast, despite our promptings. "I already told you, I want to marry him. He's mine."

Let me handle this, Zelda.

Sheik stepped towards Ruto, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You don't want to marry Link. He's already taken. And believe me when I say taken."

She pursed her lips. "Fine then. I'll just marry you then. You two are actually very similar, so I would be fine with either."

"Ruto, dear! These poor people come in for help on their quest and you want to marry two of them! Unbelievable!" The king said angrily. "Let go of Link."

Huffing, she stood and dragged her feet back over him.

"Now apologize."

"I apologize for my unruly behavior."

Link brushed himself off and Sheik helped him up. "Crap. My tunic is all wet now."

Hmmmm.... I wonder....

A gust of wind blew through the cave, instantly drying Link's clothes. I smiled smugly.

"All better now." I turned to the king. "Can you tell us where the Great Fairy is?"

He shook his head. "Sadly we haven't seen her since Jabu Jabu's last feeding. Ruto thinks she has retreated to the Water Temple, but I believe she was accidentally swallowed by Jabu Jabu."

Link spoke up. "Who's Jabu Jabu?"

Ruto crossed her arms. "A giant, man eating, Zora loving fish."