Hurt...(Jacob Perez love story)

My so called life

"Charlene, mama...wake up, baby. It's time for school." A voice soothed into my eardrum as I slept peacefully, shaking me skittishly as I held onto my pillow. I moaned lazily, reluctantly opening my eyes to the sight of my mother's smile. "Up, up up. Time for school." she said solemnly, running her fingers through my hair. I sat up in an adverse manner, already stressing about what this day may bring me. Everyday is like a living hell for me. I dread each day I have to enter that devil playground and look all those sinister demons in the eye.  I prayed to God that somehow, someway I wouldn't wake up this morning but, yet...he failed to fufill my sinful wish. I sighed gently, removing the covers from my body, placing my bare feet on the cold, hard floor. "Well, at least it's Friday." I mumbled to myself, bushing my black locks out of my face like so. 

I decied to go for a comfortable look today. Gray sweats, a long sleeve black T and sneakers. I'm no fashionista but, hell I like to be comfy. Jogging downstairs, I spotted my mom. She was cooking breakfast, Nothing unusual. "Mama," she called as I bent down to the refrigorator's level, in search for a bottle of water. "Yeah." I replied. "Do you want any breakfast?" she questioned, raising her eyebrow in suspicion of my response. "Uh..no. I'm not a breakfast person, mom. You know that." I lied, staring blankly at the floor. "And why not?" she asked frustratedly, "Because I'm just not hungry." I retored back with a slight anger. She shifted her weight on her right hip, rubbing the stress across her face. "So, what are gonna do, huh? Starve yourself so you can be one of those models on TV? How many times do I have to tell you? You're beautiful, baby. You just have curves, that's all." she lectured, attempting to touch my face. I hate when she says that to me. She'll never understand. She always preached to me about lying and how it's not bad but, she knows damn well she lied through her teeth. I dodged her embrace, moving to the left. "Can we just not talk about this now? I'm gonna be late for school." I said coldly, slithering passed her as I made my way to the door. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it. 

I entered scarcely and with poise. From the get-go, I power walked as fast as I could to avoid any altercation. If you haven't noticed from my precious hints, I'm the most hated girl in school. For what reason? Darling, if I knew. From behind, I could heard cackles, giggles and remarks towards me, making me abhor in the depths of my insecurity. Still, I continued to walk, almost to the destination that is my locker. Til I heard someone call, "Charlene!" The voice shouted in pure anger and hate. I kept walking, faster and faster I went. But, as I reached my locker, a firm grasped was placed onto my shoulder, pulling me and shoving my head first into a locker. I held my head as my skull radiated with pain. As I held my head, cautiously, I looked up. Her eyes, full of hate. Interogated and antagonized me, burning wholes through my skin as she smirked deviously at my pain. This girl right here? Is the epitome of evil. She's hated me for longer then I can remember. For what, you ask?

Darling, if I knew.. 

 Her name is Briana. Briana Morgan. She was the coldest heart amongst every person who tormented me, and also their leader. She was a beautiful girl...physically. She had everything a girl could want. Yet, she chooses to waist her time making my life a living hell. "So what?! Are you deaf too?! How many defects do you have, child? You ugly, you're a dumbass, you're fat as hell AND you can't hear? Gotdamn. Your mom must be so proud." she placed her hand gracefully on her heart in sarcastic pity as she spoke. "And so must daddy, huh?" she confided gently. I stared at her, striving to hold in my tears as she dropped down on one knee getting down to my level. "Wait, I almost forgot." she chuckled banefully. "You don't know who daddy is, huh? He left you and mama. He must'a thought you were defromed, yes? I mean, I know I would'a left too. He's a smart ass nigga. I applaud him." she gold-clapped obnoxiously in my face, making me blink as a tear shot down my cheek. Seemingly, my tears brought her more anger. She invaded my face viciously. "But, why the hell did he have to take part in making a fugly, retarded peice of shit like you?" Her words, they sliced through me, jaggedly. Not like I haven't heard it before. But, it still hurt...so...so bad. "Why do you hate me so?" I mumbled solemnly, in fear that she may attck me at any given moment. She leaned slightly, resting her arm on her knee as she cupped her fingers lightly around my chin. "Simply because you're alive, my love." she stated vaguely. Before I could comprehend, she puckered her lips and spit directly into my face. Instantly, I shielded and wiped my face as others instigated and laughed at the scene. She stood and glared at me as before while she continued to giggle with the others. "Let's go. We got class. Later, Ms. piggy." she waved and winked at me flirtaciously in sarcasm as her friends congradulated on her demeaning actions. 

There goes that feeling. That helpless, abandoned, debilitated feeling. A feeling that I loathe yet, encouter most often. They all started, shook their head in embaressment for me or laughed. Nothing in the world could make you fathom my amount of abashment. Quickly, I stood, grabbing my backpack as I headed to the girl's bathroom in rage and anger. Wiping my nose with my sleeve as it dripped, I felt all eyes on me, judging me, making fun of me. My head lowered in discorent as I continued to power walk. After what felt like forever, I finally reached the restroom. My back slammed against the door as I sobbed in frustration, my body shaking skittishly as veins popped volentarily through my skin. 

This is my life, ladies and gentleman. This is what I have to go through every single day of my natural born life.  A little taste of the pain and misery I am forced to reckon with. Call me a cry baby, call me sensetive all you please. But, you don't deny that it hurts. I feel like...I'm at war. With life, with my peers, with my feelings, everything. The catch is that I'm not allowed to fight back in this war. If I do, I may die. If I don't, I die slowly. So I may as well die trying. 

It's horried, I know. But, it's better then before. Good God. I'm gonna be re-writing each chapter because it's just agrivating me how awful my writing was. 

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