Hurt...(Jacob Perez love story)

All because of me

::Jacob POV:: 

"Charlene, please put the gun down." I said trying to console her. "No." she said coldly. "Please don't do this, I can't loose you" I said. she laughed "Bullsh*t Jacob! You and I know damn well you don't care about me. So why don't you go back to Briana and stick your tongue down her throat again, huh?" She had that look in her eyes. That frustrated look. "No, please Bonita-" she cut me off. "I swear to God Jacob, if you call me that one more time..." she snarled with gritted teeth and tears running down her cheeks. "I thought i was a fat worthless piece of sh*t remember?!" she continued. "Charlene, I didn't mean that! They said I had to say or else they would kill you! I was trying to protect you!" I said. I tried to get close to her but she back up. "Protect me? Protect me?! It didn't look like you were trying to protect me when they beat me up!" "I'm sorry! I didn't want them to kill you!" I said with tears running down my face "Well maybe I wanted to die, Jacob" she snarled as she gave me a cold glare.  

"Don't say that, please" she paused and walked a little closer to me " Jacob, look at this face!" she said pointing her index finger at herself. "This is not what you want, Ok?! Just like you said. Why don't you just go back to your "beautiful babe" and let me do what needs to be done." she said as she started to cock the gun. "No..please Charlene,...I'm sorry." I said walked closer to her "Don't. Come. Near. Me" she said with a tight grip on the gun. "Please, just let me help you..please. We can get through this." she laughed again "No. I refuse to be hurt again" she paused "all you had to do was lave me alone, like I asked you and all this could've been avoided!" see looked like she was about to crack any minuet. "You wanna know why I didn't leave you alone? Because I love you. Why won't you let me love you so I can help you." I said. I took a minuet to scan her body she had blood all over herself. That was all because of me. "well guess what Jacob? I. hate. you!" she said as she put the gun to her head and BAM! 

I quickly rose up from my bed, with bolts of cold sweat running down my face and tears in my eyes. I hate myself! I can't believe i called her that! Never in a million years would I think of her as a fat and worthless piece of sh*t. She was the opposite of that. She was a...sexy and special delicate diamond. Seeing her blood made me heart hurt. Those words...those 3 words that broke my heart. She said she hated me. If only she knew why I did what I did.   My only intention was to protect her, but now she thinks to tried to hurt her. I had to spit on her. Do you know how hard that was? I know you guys must hate me right now or doing that to her but you have to understand, I did for her safety. I know it sounds stupid considering they beat her, but I would rather have her still breathing. I felt her pain. I felt every punch, every kick. I can't escape that feeling...that gut wrenching feeling that she might do more then she did last time.....and this time I might not be able to see her beautiful face.  

::Charlene POV:: 

I sat there...thinking. Thinking of how I won't miss anything. I actually smiled at the thought. The thought of me getting away from everything. The abuse....the torment...the hurt. Honestly, I don't really hate Jacob. I just said that cause I was angry with him. I still love him even though he never loved me. I always will. He actually made me feel beautiful for a second even if he didn't mean it. But all that is out the window now. The thing I will miss the least is school. Especially Briana. Now maybe she'll finally get what she wanted. She'll never have to look at my ugly face ever again. Then there's  my mom. She's gonna take this pretty hard. I guess i should leave her with something, right. I decided to leave her a note on why I did what i did and that I love her. I know i shouldn't put her through this but I just can't take this anymore. So here goes. "Dear Mom, By now you've probably found my body. I just couldn't take anymore of the abuse at school. Yea, i was getting bullied. I didn't tell you because I knew you would go to the school and start a riot. I'm not proud of myself for giving up but i was just to much for me to handle. Don't worry, mama is in a better place now. I love you and I'll miss you. -Mama" 

After writing the note I put it on my desk near my computer. I went back to the bathroom and grabbed a piece of glass. I sat turned on the water in the tub. I left all my clothes on because I didn't want whoever found me to see my disgusting body. I sat in the water and began carving. The pain was, once again excruciating.  I carved the word " B E A U T Y" that's all I ever wanted..was to be beautiful. If I was beautiful then maybe none this wouldn't  need to happen. Oh well. When I was done I stared at it. Watching the blood mix with the water. It kinda reminds me of Jacob and I. I was the water and he was the blood. I got mixed into him and fell into his trap. Blood is thicker then water so the water would not be visible so therefore it would  vanish. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm vanishing. I knew I lost a lot of Blood but nothing was happening. I needed to speed up the process. I got out of the tub and opened my mom's medicine cabinet. I searched the cabinet until I found what I was looking for. I took the bottle of ambien. I stared at it. Finally, I poured about 20 pills into my palm. I waited "Father please forgive me for I have sinned" I said to myself. I had tears running down my cheeks. "Fat...Ugly...gorilla" Those words echoed into my head. The came Jacobs words "Your a fat worthless piece of sh*t." I finally got enough courage to do it. I stuffed the pills down my that and a few seconds after everything became pitch black..... 

::Jacob POV:: 

I can't eat! I can't sleep! All I keep thinking about is her and what she could possible be doing right now. I was at school. It was around lunch time so everyone was in the halls. I was stuffing things into my locker. I was a nervous wreck. I looked to see a lady who looked exactly like....Charlene. They had they same shaped face and everything but she was a little lighter then Charlene though. That must be her...Mom. 

"What is the got dam* principle!? Where is he!?" she said screaming. The principal finally came. "Hello, Miss, How are you? What seems to be the problem?" She had tears all over her face. "How am I doing?! How am I doing?!  When I got home last night I found my daughter...on the floor, unconscious!" "What are you talking about miss?" the principal said "My daughter tried to kill herself!!!" she screamed. The principal looked shocked. Everybody turn around once she said that. I was numb. I didn't want to believe it they never said it was her though. Maybe it was a coincidence that they looked alike. "Who is your daughter, Miss? " she looked at him and finally said "Charlene Sahan." I heard gasps all over. Tears were coming down my face. No...not my bonita....not the love of my life....no. "I'm so sorry Miss. Do you know why she would do such a thing?" she looked angry beyond belief "She left me a note saying that kids were bullying her and that she couldn't take it anymore!!" she kept screaming. I looked around and everyone was in shock. Some were starting to tear up. So know they wanna care?! Dam* hypocrites! "Miss I'm gonna need you to calm down." the principal said rubbing her back. "Calm down? Calm down?! My daughter is in a hospital bed fighting for her life because of your students and you want me to calm down!? Oh he*l no! You better hope that my daughter comes out here walking on two feet because if she doesn't.......so help me god I will unleash a new type of hell on this school! Do you hear me?!" she snarled. with tears down her throat "Miss, Please...may i see the note?" she handed him the note. he was shocked. I was also. There were blood stains all over it. No...that can't be her blood....no. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket, held the note on top of it and began to read it. "I'm so sorry miss. We will get to the bottom of this as soon as possible." he said trying to assure her. She wasn't buying it. "I sure hope so" she said with an attitude. My heart stopped right then and there. My bonita..my love...my heart...my soul...tried to kill herself.....and it's all because of me.