One and Only

Second Chances

Hey! I'm in such a lovey dovey mood for some reason! I just wanna write something romantic, but oh well, that's gotta wait. Hopefully I'm still feeling it then. :)

And this chapter isn't gonna be long at all! Sorry. :(

Anyways, cover to the side is by Anieeee98! Thanks!

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One and Only

Chapter Thirty-Six - Second Chances

I was selfish. Horrendously selfish. I fell onto the chair behind me, hard, and stuffed my rolling head into my shaky hands. How could I be so utterly stupid? And so, so using! Rose had been entirely right! I had used Noah! I had used him to fill my own needs, and at the same time had been encouraging him into thinking I'd make a commitment when I knew I wouldn't. I drove him on only to have him plummet face first into the rocky ground. How could I have been such a cruel being to inflict such pain upon him? Yes, he'd been a player, but he hadn't actually meant to hurt the girls' feelings. He had been on his search for love and it had involved him to see many different girls, even some that he knew he would never end up with.

I groaned inaudibly and tugged at my hair roughly. Why did it take him to be tottering on the edge of life and death for me to realize that I loved him?

How had I been able to hide this before? The, the love I had for him was overwhelming. I could've only denied loving him, but it was a fact that I would always know, always have, always sense. The fire of his passionate love had burnt the frozen cage around my heart and it had finally took my own undying love for him to mold the remaining iron cell into a mush, getting smaller and smaller till it was gone forever.

I missed him terribly so, even though he was in the room across from me, being tended and cared after.

I loved everything about him. His ocean eyes that lit up with joy. That turned a melancholy sapphire when he was feeling dejected. The eyes that burned a dark, resonating, passionate blue when he looked at me and made my helpless heart tremble. The ones that made me feel utterly vulnerable. The ones that I feared could look into my soul, melting with such a ferocity that made me think they suspected the incinerating attraction I had towards him the whole time, despite my redundant denying.

I loved the protected and secure feeling I got when he wrapped his arms around me. How everytime he looked at me, my heart rate would spike up notches above normal. How his proximity and closeness did wonders to me. How his simplest touch made fireworks crackle inside me and left me breathless for more. How whenever he talked to me, it was like I was the only one in the world, like I was the one girl he wanted to be with. How everyday and every moment I spent with him would make me fall in love with him more.

I loved the mischievous way he looked at me, when he was ploying to do something moderately bad. I loved the dimples that showed when he grinned at me. I loved the way his voice melted all my fears away. I loved that when he looked at me, I would feel as if the only people that mattered are me and him, and no one else. I loved how when he kissed me, no matter the intensity, his hands always felt gentle. Most of all, I loved how when I was with him, all the puzzle pieces fit, leaving me feeling entirely whole.

I lifted my heavy head and slammed it against the wall hard, trying hard to forget the agony of him so close to death. Pain resonated through my head, but the aching radiating from my heart still overpowered any other minuscule hurt feeling.

I stared at the red light of the operation theater, waiting for it to turn off. It didn't. A tear rolled down through the corner of my eye, but I didn't wipe it away. It'd be useless, like extracting a drop of water from the vast ocean; there were so many other tears sliding down my countenance.