One the ride home all I could think is. "He's gone. He's actually gone." I never thought this would happen. Not until we were old and in a retirement home. But I guess everything had to change. I still don't know who wrote me that letter, or who really did this to him.
The kids are in bed sleeping and Josh is asleep too. I can’t sleep knowing that I saw Spencer die. He'll never have kids. He'll never get married. He didn't get to do much in his little amount of time he had here on earth, with us. I guess things happen for a reason. I lay there for a while thinking about life. I get up quietly and went into the kid’s room. I kissed them both on the forehead and just stared at them.
They're perfect and they’re mine. Well Josh’s kids as well, but I’ll never get over the fact that I helped make those two little people down there. I'm happy at least that Spencer got to see these two before any of this happened. They may not ever remember him but they still got to spend time with him. I know for one though. I would not want to be his family. I sigh and walked back to bed. I got in beside Josh and closed my eyes. Within seconds of doing so I was out like a light.
I wake up to someone banging on the door. I rolled over and didn't feel Josh beside me. Maybe he's out of bed? But why would he be banging at the bedroom door.
"Amanda get up! You need to get ready for school! Wait what? Why is my mom here? I don't have school.
"What?" I asked and sat up and looked around. Everything was dark but slowly everything came into picture. Why am I in my old room? Where's Josh? Where's Justin and Porcelain? What's happening? I looked over to my clock and it read 6:12am.
"Amanda come on you cannot be late on your first day!" Mom yelled.
"O-okay I'm up." I said grabbing my phone. I looked at the date. October 12th. No fucking way. Wait a minute. I ripped off the covers and ran as fast as I could to Spencer’s old room and saw boxes. The same ones from when we moved in. This isn't happening. No. What about Justin and Porcelain? I ran to my phone and looked for pictures of them. I kept scrolling and couldn't find any. Wait. This can't be. I went to Josh's and I's conversation and the last message was ~So you think I'm cute ;)- Amanda~
~Maybe :$-Josh~
~Awwwe-Amanda~
Everything was a dream. A figment of my own imagination...
None of it really happened. I never started dating Josh. I never had to deal with Matt and Sam. Anna and her little side kick never actually hurt me. I never had to deal with Spencer. I never cheated on Josh. I never even had Porcelain and Justin. They’re not real. Josh never gave a promise ring. Nothing happened it was all just a dream. It's seemed like a yearlong dream. I must have slept for a long time. I cannot believe this. I don't know how I'll be able to look at Josh the same way after everything that just went on in that dream.
"Amanda hurry up!" My mom yelled again.
"I am!" I yelled as I started to get dressed.
Everything is so much different now.
It was all just a dream…
