The One That Understands Me | A Zanvis FF [COMPLETE]

Chapter XXXVIII - Strange

~Zane's PoV~ [slightly more sailor-mouthed than usual]

   I'm salty.
   I couldn't sleep much last night, all due to the adventure of yesterday. It's all extremely stupid, really. Whether the cause be lack of sleep or the reason for the lack of sleep, I'm grumpy anyway.
   I angrily play some old games on my phone, because I much prefer the classic games to the shitty ones of today, and rage when I get even the slightest thing wrong. After only a couple of tries, I groan and fling my phone over the side of the bed. I know it won't crack, and even if it were to somehow crack, I'm too upset to care. I lay there, tiredly, as my thoughts start going to the dreaded subject I had been trying to avoid since yesterday. I try to fight it, but since I only put forward minimal effort, my thinking eventually reaches that point.
   So... do you like him?
   I don't fucking know you prick. How would I know? It's not like I'm an expert in this.
   You know who is?
   No one. Really, unless you're a psychologist or some shit like that.
   Someone's a little bad-mouthed today.
   Oh shut up, I'm grumpy.
   But, the question still stands. Have I truly gained these romantic feeling for him? How? How is that even possible? He's just a stupid idiot that has a weird power to easily read people. He's a white-haired casanova with those emerald green eyes. He's the weirdo that actually cares.
   Is that how? Just seem to care? What's made me so mushy lately? What's next, I'll be falling for a guy who just buys me merchandise. How sallow. Am I starting to become a casanova? No, I'm not the one to start conversations, or to make the first move. But I'll make second moves. I'm not like Dante. Travis, well, he's different now. He's beginning to change.
   What do I even find attractive about him?
   Well, okay, true, his physical appearance isn't necessarily a negative. I mean, he's well built and has really pretty facial features, like his eyes. And his beautiful fluffy, snow white hair. I wonder how that would look if I could put it up in a bun or even pony tail. It's over grown enough. Geez he really needs to get it cut.
   Okay, I have no room to speak.
   He's also caring. He's got that personality traits going for him. And, more humorous than I'll ever be probably. He's just generally nice and can be serious and determined if he wants to.
   But, why me? I've never even talked to him much before that night with the karaoke. After that, everything seemed to be a downwards spiral of me becoming more social with him. I even played in the snowball fight with everyone, I flirted with him once! Or maybe multiple times, I don't know. I don't wanna remember right now.
   I audibly groan, slamming my head repeatedly on my pillow.
   Fuck you, Travis, for making me feel so contradicting. Fuck you, and all of your stupidity and good looks. Fuck you for making me feel this way, bitch.
   Yooo, chill out, he's been nothing but nice to you and you repay him by cursing him out in your mind?
   Well, it's his fault anyways. Why did he have to ask me out on a date, and create a situation where we almost kissed? Why?
   Maybe because he likes you? Maybe more than a friend?
   Not likely, with my attitude. I just mentally cursed him out, and I'm pretty sure I'm not too far from doing it physically. How does he tolerate me?
   Ugh, I need to rant to someone. And this time I actually want to go to someone, to talk. It's strange, because the urge to go let my emotions out is usually squashed by the urge to just stay in my room and wallow by myself. Usually, I have to tell myself that it'll be good for me, so that I actually go. This time is different, though.
   I text Aphmau, the only other pretty close friend, and ask her if I could go to her house, seeing as both Garroth and Laurance are here, and I can't risk them knowing of what I feel. They'll tease me endlessly. I send it, and no more than three or four minutes after, she responds. It almost makes it seem like she she was expecting me to reach out to her. Wouldn't be a surprise, really. I already know she knows about our little venture out to the park yesterday.
   Aphmau responds with given permission, and I'm already putting on my shoes. I mean, I know my best friend, she'll let almost anyone who needs help into her help, but she's not stupid. She's kind.
   I head out into the warm spring day, trees waving a greeting at me. I look up at the almost clear sky, and realize that it's almost summer. Where did all the months go? This year is going by fast.
   I ring her doorbell, and I hear a bit of clamor inside. Aphmau opens the door, saying hello in her usual chirpy tone. Aaron is in the back, setting something down on the counter.
   "Hi Zane! So, I didn't ask why in the text, so I'll ask now: what brings you to my humble abode?"
   "Because Travis is an Irene-damned little bitch!" I exclaim, louder and angrier than intended. My arms are tightly crossed across my chest, and I stamp a foot lightly for exaggeration.
   Aaron looks over, undoubtedly hearing what I said, a somewhat anxious look on his face.
   I catch his gaze and he says, "Um, I'll just, uh, go upstairs." Then he rather quickly makes his way up the stairs and to their room. I guess he didn't want to be part of what we were going to talk about.
   Aphmau, after looking back at Aaron, turns to me, saying, "What, why? What did he do on the date? Why, he better not have done anything stupid." She jokingly pulls up her sleeve to indicate that she'll hurt Travis, although really she couldn't hurt a fly in mal intent.
   "Let's just go inside." I gruff lazily and walk in after her, closing the door. She gives me a mug of water. Weird, does she not have any clean cups? Well either way, I'm not really complaining. It is somewhat comforting.
   "So, what happened yesterday?" Aphmau asks once she gets herself cozy on the couch.
   I am soon explaining most every detail about what had happened yesterday, including the beautiful spot, the nice cupcakes -- yes, I did compliment her -- and, last but not least, the almost kiss. When I mentioned that, she almost went completely crazy with squeals. So this is a ship of hers, huh?
   "Oh, and also, I never asked for my mask back! I bet he still has it. I can't believe I didn't ask for it back, it's basically a part of me by now, and I didn't even feel that it was off." I groaned, debating whether or not that mask is worth the awkwardness just to get again. I have others. "Wait, did he leave the basket here?"
   "No, he took that home with him." Aph says, shaking her head a little as if to sympathise with my pain.
   I groan again, knowing he currently has it. Really, it's only a piece of cloth, it's not that much of importance to me.
   "So, you guys almost kissed, hmm?" She quickly changes the subject to that, which I want to avoid, and adds that bit of annoying curiosity to her voice.
   "Yeah, yeah, we almost did. But we didn't." I made sure to make my point clear.
   "Zane, you know you like him right?" Aphmau states, making sure we both know the obvious.
   "Yes, Aphmau," I growl, "only an idiot wouldn't notice that. Sadly." I hate that I've made it so clear to see. I used to have emotions better under control, now they seem to be going everywhere. I sigh, looking down and hating that I have this stupid little crush.
   "Well..." Aphmau tries, seeing my downcast state, "at least you're honest about it. You at least have it figured out." I was still in a little ball, my legs tucked in with my head on top of it, so she added in a softer tone: "Look, I of all people know this whole 'I-like-this-person' business and how confusing it can be. But I'm going to be here, if you need to talk about it some more. I'm really glad you came to me." She pauses, "And, I'm sure you know this, but this whole crush thing isn't going to go away until you do something about it. And really the only way to deal with it is to tell him.. okay?"
   Yeah. It happened that way the very first time too.
   "Yeah, I know Aphmau," I respond in a soft and thankful tone. "Thanks."
   "Awh, of course Zane!" She smiles, and puts her arms out, leaning in with a little hum. "Hmmm?"
   "No, Aphmau. No hugs today."
   "Aw, darn. I thought we got somewhere there. Oh well." Then she holds her fist out. "Maybe this?"
   I chuckle a little at her determined behavior, "okay, fine."
   I bring my closed fist to hers, and we both have it touching for a little, until we pull back, flicking our fingers and making a similar sound to "parl-la-la-la."
   We understand what joke we made, and laugh. Mine is a little quieter and raspier, while hers is full-out loud. But we both laugh nonetheless.
   "Okay, um, I think I'm gonna head back home." I say, getting back up. I'm glad I have a friend I can just come to to cheer up.
   "Alrighty, see ya later!" She follows me up so she could close the door after me. I open the smooth oak door and step outside, refreshed.

Word count: 1676
YO HELLO
Oh also a quick update: in about a week I'm going to go to Mexico, for how long, I dunno. But, just know, I will have less time to write and get updates out, also the WiFi can really suck sometimes.
And another note: sorry this took like nine days to get out lmao, finals suck
Live, Love, Lapis, hope y'all have a great day or night! Bye my lovely Gems~!
[Also, almost 15K? Y'all rock, seriously!]