Beneath The Scars

Ch. 4

WARNING CONTAINS SELF HARM AND THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE

Alec P.O.V.

I opened my eyes to find a blinding white light. 'Where was I?' Then I heard Izzy. "Alec you're finally awake we were scared that we might have lost you." I kept looking around trying to decipher who we was. Eventually I decide it was probably just my friends. My mother and father clearly weren't and hadn't been here and neither were any of my friends it was just Izzy and I. "Alec what is going on with you? The doctor said you had passed out due to malnutrition and sleep deprivation. Are the nightmares that bad that you've stopped eating?" I didn't say anything I didn't even move. I just sat there. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her I had stopped eating a long time ago because someone said I was hogging the food. Or that the nightmares were getting worse and I started to become afraid they might actually happen. Or that I hated how I felt about Jace. How every time him and I were in the same room my mind went to places it shouldn't. I hated it and I hated myself. The world wouldn't even miss me. As I was slipping deeper into my spiral of self hate Magnus walked in a big smile on his face.

Magnus P.O.V.

When I walked into the hospital Alec's room was the first on the right. His door was wide open; as soon as I got a glimpse of his blue eyes a smile took the place of my unmistakable frown. He looked so sad. I wanted to make him feel better. No I needed to make him feel better. I don't know why he had such an effect on me, but seeing him so sad broke my heart. I decide to go in with a smile and my usual positive attitude. "I see sleeping beauty has finally awoke. Who was the lucky prince?" My comment earned a smile from him and Izzy glanced at the both of us then started to laugh.

*ONE WEEK AFTER ALEC WAS RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL*

Alec P.O.V.

"FINE! LEAVE THEN! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER COME BACK! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT HE IS ONLY LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF YOU! REMEMBER THAT!" My mother yelling woke me up and soon after I heard my father respond.

"I DON'T PLAN ON IT! AND YOU ARE SO WRONG ALEC WASN'T PUT IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE OF ME THAT WAS ALL ON YOU!" 'Great now who put me in the hospital was there competition.' I got out of bed and sunk down onto the floor. Curling up into a ball I put my head down on my knees and began to cry silently. 'I'm the reason my dad left. He would still be here for Izzy if I didn't exist.'  I got up and walked into my bathroom. Luckily Izzy was at Clary's so she wouldn't walk in. I lifted my shirt and pulled down the waistband on my boxers to reveal a cluster of scars. I took the razor that I had previously stolen from Izzy and watched as the blood ran down my leg. I sank into the bathroom floor my leg now covered in blood and fell asleep. The alarm went off, startling me awake. Since my mother had already left for work and Izzy wasn't here, I made the decision to skip school. As the memories of the night before came flooding back I found myself cutting again. I had no idea as to what time it was. The only reason I had put the razor down was him.

Magnus P.O.V.

I went to first hour alone. Usually Alec and I walk together since we practically have the same schedule. When I asked Izzy where he was she didn't know. Said she had spent the night at Clary's and figured he was just running late. When he wasn't in first hour I started to get worried. Then it became evident he just wasn't here at all. Since I wouldn't see Izzy again till lunch, and I simply was just to impatient to wait that long. I hacked into my demon of a father's email from my phone and wrote the school. It said: Please excuse my son, Magnus Bane something urgent has come up and he will need to be pulled from school immediately. As soon as the phone rang I deleted the email from his outbox and got rid of any evidence I had hacked his email. "Mr. Bane it appears you have been signed out you." God Mr. Aldertree is awful. I quickly made my way to my locker grabbed my stuff and left school headed for Alec's house.