Last week I wrote that everything was going perfect. It's not. Not anymore. He's gone. And I couldn't be more glad. I don't need him, yes he helped me but he, he wasn't what I thought he was. All that time I spent with him was a lie. The man I fell in love with didn't exist, I was in love with an illusion. He lied. He hurt. And then, then he left.
At first I was devastated. But then I realised who I have become over the past months. I am a strong independent woman. I do not rely on a man and I shouldn't tie all of my happiness into one person. Out of all people I blame myself, I should've known that people are not to be trusted, they're selfish and vicious.
They don't care. It's all about their needs. And that's what I have to remember. To do things for myself, to live for myself. I refuse to go back to who I was because I do not deserve it.
I deserve everything in the world, and I will work for whatever I want, with or without him by my side. Yes at one point in my life he completed me, but that doesn't mean he'll be my lifeline forever, because all lifelines eventually get cut off. And that's what happened. My life line was cut off. But out of that came a miracle. I survived. As Queen Beyoncé says I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm gonna work harder.
I don't need him. He wasn't real. He was temporary.
