After my long nap on my bedroom floor I was brought out of my sleep by an aching in my back. Sitting up I awakened out of my hazy state, coming to the conclusion that last night wasn't a dream.
Then I begun to think. I was getting lost in my thoughts and how couldn't I? This random guy pops out of nowhere in my darkest time, the time where I need him most. And all of a sudden everything is perfect. All of the rough edges had been smothered with something- something so different to the harsh reality, that everything was simple.
He and I. The fountain. My feelings. His feelings. Nothing disappeared, nothing changed.
I know I had recently called out to God for a saviour, for well- something. But I'm just not sure. Yes he was there on my darkest night, but he too seemed hurt. What if we both needed someone? He was my someone and I was his. But how could I possibly help him?
He seemed so reserved yet open but also kinda sealed off. He was confusingly perfect- in a way that he still had his flaws but they only added to his seeming perfection.
And yet still, after thinking about him I still couldn't imagine what was to come of our night together. I couldn't begin to dream of what the future was to hold with him- at least I couldn't dream of the hurt.
Racking my brain for a reason to talk to him, to see him, to find myself in his presence, to be lost in him, I approached my bed. As I neared the foot of my bed I turned, flopping back on the comfy duvet.
Fixing my position so that I was able to bury my head in the pillows, I inhaled. And exhaled, I was safe, confused, but safe. Not only from the harsh reality of the real world, but also me self degrading thoughts that had seemed to never take a vacation.
But I still didn't feel content. I hadn't felt that warm feeling yet- familiarity- it wasn't here. It was with him. My sense of familiarity wasn't in my lonely apartment, but with a strangely perfect stranger. And at the moment, I was strangely okay with that.
